Today in Catholicism: Girls Are Icky

Do you remember being 12 years old? That strange and wonderful age where you’re slowly shedding your childish behaviors in preparation for your looming teenage years – casting aside your My Little Ponies and Hot Wheels, insisting on remodeling your “baby-ish” bedroom, hotly protesting against a birthday party at Pizza Hut…but still secretly terrified of getting your period and completely threatened by the opposite sex? Well, it seems the Vatican is quite the challenging tween these days.

Looks like SOMEONE is going to need “the talk” soon!

The Caretaker Had a Gun: How I Narrowly Survived a Grad School Retreat

My recent email conversations with a certain upstate New York blogger have got me to thinking about quite a few things lately: Would it be breaking city code to raise some cute-ass lambs on my property? (YES) Would I ever be able to resist naming and getting attached to every single animal on my farm, making it impossible for me to kill them, leading to the starvation of the entire household? (NO) Have the scars healed enough for me to be able to share my Upstate New York Grad School Movement Class Retreat story with the Internet? (QUESTIONABLE).

Cheers & Jeers: Back From Vacation Edition

Unpainted Arizona

I leave tomorrow for an impromptu mini-vacation in Arizona with my sister.

Give me back my Trapper Keeper, you bitch!

“What’s Burning?”

Please, please, PLEASE – if you do ONE THING on the internet today, go here and watch these fucking brilliant – BRILLIANT! – videos.

“Whaddya mean, that’s it?”

I’ve watched “Mother’s Day,” “The Christmas Tree,” “The Phone Call,” and “My Son is Gay?” about five times each today. Who IS this John Roberts guy, and can he come live at my house and be the New Jersey mother I never had?

“I had no idea!”

Love In The Time Of Formula

This past weekend I hosted a surprise baby shower for my good friend from high school. I had a house full of friends, flowers, miniature cupcakes, and lots of estrogen. It was actually a quite small affair – just five guests and myself – so I didn’t really bother planning any games…although there are some gems out there these days.

Baby showers: The only time in your life that you can be publicly excited about smelling excrement.