Week in the Knees

Huh? Wha? Has it really been a whole goddamn WEEK since I last posted? Oh my. I’m sorry, dear Internet, that time seems to have gotten away from me lately, but I promise I have good reasons, and I promise that those reasons are not “I Got Sucked Into a Lifetime Movie Marathon.”

Lifetime Television: Producing more movies about teen sex than the world probably needs

STILL ALIVE!

Yes, internet, I am still alive – although one wouldn’t know it from looking at my blog. However, it’s been a very busy week spent in places other than in front of my computer, and as you may assume, not being in front of a computer makes blogging very difficult.

Terrible at blogging

Googlemania III: Comedy Turns to Concern

If I had to list the top five small happinesses of my daily life, I would have to say that checking the “search terms” area of my blog stats is at the top of that list…right before hydrogenated oil’s equivalent to the orgasm, Coffeemate, and right after the highly entertaining situation of coworkers arguing loudly in emphatic whispers with their children on the phone.

“No, you cannot go to Dylan’s house after school. No you – no – MATTHEW! Let go of your sister’s arm! Don’t talk to me in that tone, young man! I am at WORK and I CANNOT DEAL with your attitude right now! That’s it, no Playstation until October.”

Forwards and Backwards

So here I am, the Tuesday after a 3-day holiday weekend and the obligatory Shiftless Monday after a 3-day holiday weekend (with the special added bonus of an extra long Monday night rehearsal in which everyone was ass-clenchingly off-book for the first time), and I think, “Gee. I sure wish I had some words of wisdom to get me through the day. Preferably something delivered via email, that requires me to scroll down through 15 levels of forwarded headers, that has >>>>> before each line of text, and – ideally – contains some sort of vaguely disturbing clip art and a gloom-and-doom message with a pinch of religious guilt thrown in.”

“No, no – it’s cool. I mean, I died for your sins and you can’t be bothered to forward an email to ten of your friends in the next 15 minutes, but whatever. *SIGH*”

Pimp My Turkey

Good morning, Internet. How are you? How was your long weekend? See any fireworks? That’s nice. Hm? What’s that? Oh, my BRAND SPANKING NEW HEADER?! Why, thank you. Yes, it is awesome. AND was created by someone very sexy – how nice of you to notice.

Is nice!

The Rosco P. Coltrane Award

Internet, did you used to watch The Dukes of Hazzard when you were growing up (or when you were already a grown-up)? I did. In fact, it was quite an event in my house. My dad would make us some popcorn in our massive, yellow, plastic, counter-space-eating popcorn popper, my mom would mix up a pitcher of orange Kool-Aid, my sister and I would plant ourselves on the floor in front of the TV (with some newspapers put down in front of us in the style of housebreaking a puppy for any wayward popcorn or sugary beverage), and we let the magic of those good ol’ Duke boys wash over us for the next glorious 60 minutes.

In hindsight, perhaps those nights were more for my mother’s benefit.

Robots, Weed, and Sex Dolls: A Weekend At The Movies

With my recent busy schedule of being a nerd in the evenings, I haven’t had much time to enjoy the carnal pleasures of my lady Tivo, or watch any of the three Netflix movies gathering dust on the coffee table. In fact, the only TV-watching I manage to squeeze in during the week is a measly 30 minutes from 6 to 6:30 when Brad & I shovel down our dinner before heading out to the theatre. And – for your entertainment, and at the expense of our dignity – I will now share with you the horridly embarrassing program we choose to spend those precious 30 minutes viewing:

Let he who is without the WB cast the first stone!