She’ll Be Comin’ ‘Round the Mountain When She Comes

["She" being the baby, and "the mountain" being me, and I suppose it will be more like "coming OUT of" instead of "'round," and DAMN but there are a lot of apostrophes in that title.]

Anyway. What I’m trying to say is that – if you recall – I am PREGNANT. Really pregnant. Nearly 35 weeks, to be exact. And after yesterday’s appointment, it sort of became clear to us that HEY! This baby could pretty much show up at any time now!

Fortunately, these come in maternity sizes.

Soft Nougat Center

Internet, this week has been a little challenging so far. Not outright bad, in a “I lost my arm in a grain thresher and darn if it isn’t hard to type now!” kind of way, it’s more of a “I’m tired and cranky and work is stupid and WHAT DO YOU MEAN I have 6 more weeks in this pregnant body?!” kind of thing.

This about sums it up.

Breaking News! Nothing Has Changed.

I hope you didn’t come over here looking for an exciting read, Internet, because I’m afraid that’s not what you’re going to find. Actually, if you’re in the market for something stimulating, I suggest you click on over to CNN.com. Looks like they’ve got some crazy shit going down over there.

And my silly Grandma thought sending me 20 bucks on my birthday was enough.

Grace in the Fucking Annoying

So, kdiddy has been doing this “Grace in Small Things” exercise over at her blog lately where she writes about some small, positive things that happen throughout her day, and man, I just think that’s really cool. I’m all about finding and appreciating happiness in the small details in life, and I thought about doing the same thing over in my corner of the interblog superwebway – but then I thought NO! Let us take it one step further! You know what would really be a challenge? Finding grace in the little, supremely ass-chapping moments of my day! Like when some douchesack runs a stop sign with absolutely no regard to the health and safety of the occupants of my car (which contains a fetus) OR his (which I can clearly see contains SMALL CHILDREN, like WAY TO GO, DAD with your reckless fucking driving, asshole! Why not feed the little ones some lead paint chips dipped in scotch while you’re at it?!).

Serenity now!

Nursery Rhymes

This past weekend, I learned three things:

1. We are overly optimistic about large furniture items being able to fit up our narrow, built-in-1900 main staircase;
2. I am still capable of random bursts of productive energy;
3. But most of the time I feel like I just drank a bottle of Nyquil.

The awesome, coma-inducing original formula, not the watered down, meth-heads-are-ruining-it-for-everyone formula.

Ten for T

Internet, you sure are lucky today. Because instead of having to read a post about how I miraculously found a pair of thigh-highs in a small-town drugstore, or one detailing my latest pregnancy complaints (can’t breathe, can’t get comfortable, can’t stay awake for more than 3 hours waaaaaaaaah), or even one subjecting you to my Deep Thoughts about how today is exactly TWO MONTHS out from my due date and HOLY SHIT, I can totally remember what I was doing two months ago today…

I didn’t say it was INTERESTING, I just said I REMEMBERED.