Randomness

Huh? What? I have a BLOG? Like, the kind I have to actively post on? You mean all those blog posts I compose in my head while breastfeeding/showering/rocking Sadie to sleep don’t get automatically sent from my neurons to the Internet?

Also, where the fuck are my automatically adjusting high-tops? It’s the year 2009, people! Let’s step up the technology!

“…they are so placid and self-contain’d…”

Hello, Internet! Do you recognize the title of this post? It’s pretty random, I admit. It’s a snippet of one of my favorite poems from my favorite Santa-Claus-lookin’-rumored-to-be-geigh famous historical figure in literature. And it has come to mind lately due to some very UN-contain’d situations regarding Sadie, her new sleep schedule, and some very compromised diapers.

“Using my beautiful writing to describe your daughter’s assplosions? GEE THANKS.”

Yeah, it’s going to be one of those posts, my friends. But please read on! I need your help! With this, and with things non-feces-related!

Jive Turkey’s Guide To All The Essential Shit You Need If A Baby Is Fixin’ To Come Out The Ol’ Brewster

Pretty catchy title, no?

It seems the clamoring masses (i.e., the lone commenter Lisa) have demanded my input on what I deem to be essentials when it comes to this whole baby-wranglin’ business. And because I love to share my opinion and behave like an expert on something I’ve been doing a whole two months, I will gladly oblige. Lucky you!

Real Post Coming Soon!

But for now, I have to share this with you (found here) because it is making my damn day.

Haaa.

Here I Go Again On My Own

First things first: YOU ARE WELCOME, Internet, for me getting that awesome song stuck in your mind.

Really? There was a time when no one found that hair ridiculous? REALLY?!