MySpace, get up out MyFace

July 18, 2007 at 5:20 pm 2 comments

I hate you, MySpace.

I hate your cheesy-ass backgrounds.

I hate your high volume of child molesters who always end up on “To Catch a Predator.”

I hate the forum you provide for slutty underage girls to post slutty underage pictures of themselves.

I hate the LOUD LOUD ALWAYS LOUD music that plays whenever you open someone’s page. Yes, I KNOW you can turn it off, but the music ALWAYS loads before the little pause/stop/play controls do.

I hate it whenever people ask me to look at their MySpace page, because I know I will be filled with murderous rage in my near future.

I hate how often MySpace pages are used as “evidence” of infidelity on shows like Maury & Dr. Phil.

[I hate that I sometimes watch Maury & Dr. Phil]

I hate how you rope me into trying to find the pages of people who were dicks to me in high school, which only serves to inform me that people who were dicks to me in high school are now doctors and lawyers and PARENTS, oh my God, those people should not be parents.

I hate you, MySpace. Please go away.

P.S. Your search engine sucks.

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Entry filed under: Taste my Backhand.

“Damn you, Scuba Steve!” is my second favorite Hey, Michael Vick!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Alysa Daniels  |  August 22, 2008 at 11:12 am

    LOL this is great!

    Reply
  • 2. Simon  |  June 21, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    I, on the other hand, appreciate that there is a place in the world for underage girls to express their artistic selves by posting pictures of themselves in Legs Avenue costumes. I mean, how great is it that such young girls are taking such bold steps into the world of maturity, putting away childish things in favor of a more adult approach to life?

    Except Sadie. Fuck THAT. That girls is in a friggin’ burqa until 16, and then it’s full wetsuit until she graduates college.

    Reply

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