Love Is…Never Having to Stop to Pee

August 31, 2007 at 11:58 am 4 comments

So we’ve all heard of Lisa Nowak, the former astronaut who went a little apeshit over her affair with a co-worker, and tried to attack some bitch who be triflin’ with her boo. Allow me to break it down for you. Our girl Lisa:

  • drove 900 miles from Houston to Orlando,
  • wore adult diapers in the car so she wouldn’t have to make any pit stops,
  • donned a disguise that enabled her to approach the other woman in an airport parking lot,
  • knocked on the woman’s car window,
  • and pepper sprayed the bitch when she rolled the window down.

Am I the only one here who thinks Lisa Nowak is…kind of awesome?

I mean, when she finds out that some two-penny ho is messing with her man, she doesn’t sit at home and cry about it – she slaps on a pair of fucking ADULT DIAPERS and BRINGS IT.  It’s NASA meets Maury Povich, and I fucking love it.

girl-please.jpg

“You better not be sleepin’ with my baby-daddy, you weightless bitch! Now get yo’ skank ass to the cockpit and  propagate our orbiter state vector.

Man, love is a bitch, isn’t it Lisa? I mean, you can fly a damn shuttle into outer space, but you can’t control how love turns this:

before.jpg

Into this:

kind-of-awesome.jpg

And makes this:

romance-in-high-waisted-jeans.jpg

degenerate into this:

im-a-big-kid-now.gif

Shall I compare thee to an absorbent panel?

 

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Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

When a Douche Repro-douches… Ring-a-Ding-Ding

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Husband of Said Turkey  |  August 31, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    Wow. If ever I truly hate someone, I may pretend to be having an affair with them, because now I know you will lay the free-flowing bladder smack down on them.

    Also, my adult diapers make me feel free to hula hoop again!

    Reply
  • 2. Chance  |  August 31, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    There’s quite a bit of question as to whether Nowak actually wore diapers. She had children’s diapers in the car. She wasn’t wearing diapers herself and I suspect children’s diapers won’t fit her.

    By claiming she wore adult diapers, were the cops attempting to influence the jury pool early on, or just too dumb to know the difference between children’s and adult’s diapers?

    Reply
  • 3. Friend/Colleague/Alibi of Said Turkey  |  September 4, 2007 at 2:20 pm

    Those 2 people kissing look like they’re on the cover of some sort of werewolf themed romance novel.

    Reply
  • 4. Josh  |  September 5, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    hahahahhah. Diapers in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    Reply

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