Taking Care of Business
That’s the cameraphone-captured view from the hotel room that will be my home for the next 3 nights while I attend a Big Important [very boring] Conference for my job. Yes, I’m on a business trip – which is actually kind of a novelty for me, since this is only the second one I’ve taken in my life. The first trip took me to the Middle East, so this trip to the southeast U.S. will likely contain more dinners at Ruby Tuesday’s and less time spent pondering my fate at vehicle checkpoints in the middle of the desert.
More mini-burgers; less invasive, full-body pat-downs.
So far, it’s been…interesting. Among the highlights of my trip so far:
- Riding on a propeller plane that was so loud it sounded like a damn vibrator with wings.
- Seeing my boss get hit on by a drunk girl at a bar, who announced to everyone in attendance that she had Tourette’s Syndrome before going to the restroom to vomit.
- The guy at the same bar who kept talking shit about the Steelers (we were watching the game) just to get a rise out of me.
- He finally came over to me and said, “I can’t believe the Steelers are getting beaten by the Buccos in the first quarter!”
- (They were playing the Broncos, and it was the 3rd quarter.)
- Shortly after that, he hooked up with Tourette’s Girl.
- The conference attendee from an undisclosed foreign country (Sorry to be so cagey, but I don’t want to lose my job) who, during his presentation, referred to President Bush as, “Your president with the…exceptional personality.” Heh.
- Watching not one, not two, not three, but FOUR grown men pick their noses during the presentations.
- Being equally fascinated with the guy sitting next to me who had no desire to hide his total boredom from the rest of the group and filled an entire 45 minutes with sighing, shifting his weight in his chair, and yawning.
- Catching the same woman staring at me five times in a row. She either hates me or is in love with me.
- The realization that no one does any fucking work on these trips. Seriously.
- How can I weasel my way into some more of these?
Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.