Oh Noes! My Babby Has Chicken Pots!
If I had to pick one pet peeve that really drives me crazy head-and-shoulders above the rest, something that makes me want to scream and rend my garments even more than tailgating drivers, dinner table nose-blowers, or airplane farters (people who fart on the airplane, not people who fart airplanes, although I suppose that might be annoying depending on the circumstance), it would have to be TERRIBLE SPELLERS.
Look, I understand that some words are tough to spell – I myself was disqualified from the 6th grade spelling bee for screwing up “irrelevant” – and I know everyone slips up and misspells a word from time to time, and I know there are unintentional typos, and I know – I KNOW! – that poor spelling does not necessarily mean you are uneducated or unintelligent, but HOLY SHIT, it sure makes you seem that way.
Allow me to illustrate my point.
This week, I received the email below:
Was this email written by a LOLcat?
Are you fucking kidding me? The person who sent this email was 1) a parent, and 2) someone who works at an ART AND LANGUAGE INSTITUTE. And she spelled “baby” wrong. Twice.
Now, I’m not a parent, but I have a feeling that if you have GIVEN BIRTH TO CHILDREN, you might have seen the word “baby” around. Like, ALOT. Right?
Exhibit 2: The person who found my blog entry about tainted chicken pot pie by Googling “chicken pots symptoms.” It took me a while, but after puzzling over that phrase for a minute or so, I realized that the Googler was looking up CHICKEN POX symptoms. As in, the ailment most of us get as kids. As in, this was probably another adult.
What gives, Chicken Pot Googler? You spelled “symptoms” correctly; how could you not have known it was pox? Have you really gone your whole life thinking that there was a disease named after the cooking vessels of culinarily-inclined poultry?
God forbid the kid gets pneumonia. Lord knows what kind of crazy-ass Google search that will result from that.
Pneumo’ nia, mo’ problems.