February 6, 2008 at 11:24 am 2 comments

One of the highlights of my morning (and there are precious few) is checking my blog stats and seeing what crazy-ass shit people are Googling to get to my site. Allow me – if you will – to present you with a sampling:

  • “JIVE TURKEY RESTAURANT.” I get this one all the time, and I guess it’s no big mystery as there is an actual Jive Turkey restaurant in in New York City. I always feel slightly guilty knowing that some poor soul is just looking for a place to get dinner, and instead gets an essay about my childhood crush on Steve Guttenberg. Sorry about that. Although, I suppose I am not helping matters by typing the phrase “Jive Turkey restaurant” in this entry multiple times. Sorry about that, too.
  • “WHY CAN’T YOU EAT A JIVE TURKEY?” I got this one a couple of days ago, and I feel it necessary to point out that I would probably be stringy, and perhaps a tad dry.
  • “HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE.” Ah! Finally something I can help you out with.
  • “MADISON PEE GOLDEN.” Huh. Well, I think I know what this possible resident of Wisconsin was looking for, although I think that “Madison P. Golden” sounds like an old-fashioned oil tycoon, or perhaps a relative of the Monopoly guy.
Pass go, collect $200, and piss on me, you dirty whore!

Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

Morning Haterade She Wore a Bolo Tie: One Girl’s Struggle with Personal Style (or Lack Thereof)

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Husband of Said Turkey  |  February 6, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    HAHA! See what happens to Park Place when you let white people move in? People get pissed on.

  • […] 30, 2008 So, you remember how – a while back – I posted all of the crazy things people Google to get to my site? Well, HOLY SHIT have things gotten interesting around here since I posted that rant on […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed

Pittsburgh Bloggers


Whatchu Twitterin’, Jive Turkey?

  • One of my costumes was worn in The Little Foxes on Broadway and I will probably never take it… 1 day ago
  • RT @bobby: first ballot Bad Feeling Hall of Fame inductee: pulling a wet bathing suit back on after taking a shit. 1 day ago
  • RT @bransonreese: Bravest people, ranked 1- my friend who got in huge trouble in elementary school for doing a really sexually charged Maca… 1 day ago
  • RT @BobWeiss91362: My daughter was brutally murdered in a mass school shooting. What makes you think your child won't be next. I don't wa… 1 day ago
  • RT @aardvarsk: There are so many ways to call someone an idiot. In the south, you say “bless their heart.” In LA you say “they’re on their… 2 days ago



I'm Gonna Git You, Flicka!

%d bloggers like this: