Pimp My Turkey

July 7, 2008 at 10:10 am 8 comments

Good morning, Internet. How are you? How was your long weekend? See any fireworks? That’s nice. Hm? What’s that? Oh, my BRAND SPANKING NEW HEADER?! Why, thank you. Yes, it is awesome. AND was created by someone very sexy – how nice of you to notice.

Is nice!

Yes, it seems my blog got a hot little injection of style over the weekend, and – in the interest of full disclosure – the sequence of events leading up to it went a little something like this:

LIGHTS UP.

Jive Turkey laying on couch after rehearsal and post-rehearsal drinks. Brad (the artist formerly known as HoST) opens his laptop.

JT: Hey, let’s look at I Can Has Cheezburger.

B: OK.

JT: Hey, let’s look at Cute Overload.

B: OK.

JT: HEY, let me show you this funny thing I saw on Jezebel.

B: UH, CAN I PLEASE CHECK MY EMAIL, WHICH IS WHAT I SAT DOWN HERE TO DO?

JT: Fine!

Pause.

JT: Hey, can you make me a new header for my blog?

B: (Sighs, opens WordPress, is canonized for sainthood.) OK, so what were you thinking? What colors?

JT: I want a picture of a turkey, with like…rays coming out of it. In bright pimp-tastic colors. And a funky 70s-inspired font. (Turns on TV, sees that “Tombstone” is on, begins to succumb to beer buzz.)

B: What about this? Do you like this turkey? How about these colors?

JT: Hm? Wha? Oh sure that’s fine just let me rest my eyeszzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

FOUR-HOUR PAUSE.

JT: (Wakes, is alone on couch, hears birds chirping, has spiffy new header.) Huh? MMmmppphzzzzzzzzz.

So, there you have it. My drunken brain-child, Brad’s inspired design and mad photoshop skillz. I’m still working on getting a little animated George Jefferson to occasionally walk across the screen – because as we all know, George Jefferson has the coolest walk known to man – but seeing as how I may have abused the talents and patience of my graphic designer this weekend, we’ll have to play it by ear.

Took a whole lotta TUH-RY-IN’ just to get up that hill.

EDITED TO ADD: Hey! You guys! My site is a year old…like, TODAY! How appropriate, with the new header and all. I’d like to say that I had it all planned out, with the header coinciding with the one-year mark, but…no. I was too busy being Val Kilmer’s huckleberry.

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Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

The Rosco P. Coltrane Award Forwards and Backwards

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Husband of Said Turkey  |  July 7, 2008 at 10:58 am

    Hehe… Your little scripting of the events is remarkably accurate, considering the fact that you were asleep through much of it.

    Reply
  • 2. kristin  |  July 7, 2008 at 11:11 am

    I dig the new header, but I am very, very frightened of that photo of the man in the . . . swimsuit? I don’t even know what that is, but I may have nightmares about it.

    Reply
  • 3. The Constant C  |  July 7, 2008 at 11:23 am

    Kristin! You don’t know Borat?! Oh dear. I see your wholesome farm life has gone to far. I’ll do my best to remedy this for you… although we’ll start nniiice and eeeaasy with the Ali G show.

    Reply
  • 4. kristin  |  July 7, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Oh. That’s Borat? Okay, then I DEFINITELY don’t want to see that movie. I didn’t want to see it anyway because those kinds of things where unsuspecting people are mocked make me squirm. I can’t take watching other people be embarrassed, I guess.

    Wholesome farm life? Is that what this is? And here I was thinking I was so wild and crazy.

    Reply
  • 5. Sara  |  July 8, 2008 at 10:05 am

    Oh man, that may be the best header ever. Wait, no, it WILL be when George Jefferson starts dancing across the screen!

    Reply
  • 6. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  July 8, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Love it! Really love the font. Makes me wanna roller skate and cherry pick all the while singing the theme to Shaft.

    Reply
  • 7. jiveturkey  |  July 8, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    If Chicago Friend of Said Turkey likes the header, than I KNOW it is, as the kids say, crazysexycool.

    That Chicago Friend of Said Turkey is a baaaaad mother SHUT YO’ MOUTH!

    Reply
  • 8. MLE  |  July 8, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    I lurve it. Brad done good.

    (my husband made my header, too! He even drew the pants!)

    Reply

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