Googlemania III: Comedy Turns to Concern
If I had to list the top five small happinesses of my daily life, I would have to say that checking the “search terms” area of my blog stats is at the top of that list…right before hydrogenated oil’s equivalent to the orgasm, Coffeemate, and right after the highly entertaining situation of coworkers arguing loudly in emphatic whispers with their children on the phone.
“No, you cannot go to Dylan’s house after school. No you – no – MATTHEW! Let go of your sister’s arm! Don’t talk to me in that tone, young man! I am at WORK and I CANNOT DEAL with your attitude right now! That’s it, no Playstation until October.”
As with previous installments of Google-mania, there is plenty of hilarity to be found. Behold the wonderful and glorious things the citizens of this world are typing into search engines to reach my humble blog:
- coot coot! dukes of hazzard
- hiley cyrus/myrus cyrus/millie ray cyrus (yes, I get about 4 variations on this daily)
- chickenpots (A classic!)
…And perhaps my very favorite:
- fart babby,s
And this is all amusing and fun, but lately, I’ve been getting some…interesting terms. Such as:
- turkey sex movie/sex movies turkey
- sex turky ass
Uh. Is “turkey” slang for something else? Or are there just a lot of people out there with a sexual fondness for luncheon meat? Whatever the explanation, I once again feel somewhat guilty that these poor misguided souls end up here, only to curse in frustration and one-handedly navigate to some other site that will hopefully fulfill their wildest poultry-related desires.
“Hey baby, I’m about ready to make my own gravy.”
And lest I forget, allow me to present you with the winner of the Most Emotionally-Unsettling Search Term award:
- please dont go away
Well…OK. I won’t. Just promise you won’t get mad that your desperate cry for help led you to a website that, in turn, mocks your pain.
It’s funny ’cause it’s great material.
And now, if I may be the rancid icing on the Monday-morning cake, allow me to share the Forward Du Jour, as supplied to me by a relative who may never be invited to my house again:
Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.