Week in the Knees

July 28, 2008 at 10:23 am 6 comments

Huh? Wha? Has it really been a whole goddamn WEEK since I last posted? Oh my. I’m sorry, dear Internet, that time seems to have gotten away from me lately, but I promise I have good reasons, and I promise that those reasons are not “I Got Sucked Into a Lifetime Movie Marathon.”

Lifetime Television: Producing more movies about teen sex than the world probably needs

Well, OK, FINE, I did watch part of a Lifetime Movie last night while I was making dinner, but it was about teenage boys killing a stripper and then covering it up, and I DARE you not to watch that shit when it comes at you on a Sunday evening. Especially because there seemed to be an unusually high number of Canadian actors in the cast, making for many amusing, “I never meant to keep anything from you! I’m so SORE-Y!” moments.

What’s this all aboot?

ANYHOO, yes, there were many various and sundry events last week that kept me away from my precious blog, and – if I may – I’d like to present them to you in concise, bulleted list form:

THINGS THAT KEPT ME FROM BLOGGING LAST WEEK: An Attempt by Jive Turkey to Win the Sympathy of Her Readers, Thus Absolving Her from Any Guilt She Feels for Being a Slack-Ass Blogger

  • A THREE-DAY motivational class I was forced encouraged to attend, during which I spent great chunks of time Learning How to Deal With Difficult People/How to Think Outside the Box/How to Prevent Myself From Gouging My Eyes Out The Next Time I Hear Another Annoying, Over-Used, Work-Related Phrase. On the upside, donuts and danishes were provided. On the downside, I overslept on the morning of Day 2, resulting in my being 2 hours late for the session entitled “How to Be An Extraordinary Assistant.” HAR HAR HAR, malfunctioning alarm clock. I applaud your sense of irony. The class really deserves a post of its own, though, and I’m working on bringing it, if you will.
  • My 8-year wedding anniversary, complete with 8 roses being delivered to me at work (Awww) and a big, fancy, dinner that gave us both indigestion (Awww…urrp). I really, really wanted to dedicate a big sappy post to Brad that day, but I was too busy oversleeping and learning about how to be competitive in the modern workplace.
  • Also taking up my time last week was an interview for a new position within my same company, which I ended up getting. Yay, Work Turkey! However, I do not want to elaborate too much on this, Internet, so I hope you are not offended. Let’s just say that it’s a good thing, and I am about 99% excited about it (the other 1% being the part of my brain that keeps repeating “What have you done?!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?”).
  • The closing weekend of the show, which – as always – makes me altogether melancholy (My pretty costumes! My fun scenes! My lovely cast-mates!) and ecstatic (No commitments in the evenings! Free license to get shit-faced on my back porch on a school night!). The mixed blessing of the show is that it led to another offer of a part in an awesome show this fall – a part that was once played by AMY SEDARIS, for the love of Pete – but it conflicts with another show I have already committed to.

Quandry.

But that is a problem I am quite lucky to have, and I may actually get to do both shows if a few dates can be moved around. I also have another project coming up at the end of August, but rehearsals for that don’t start until after after a spa weekend with my sister, a trip to New York, and…and…oh, I’m already tired. Where the fuck did my summer go?

I am right around the corner, bitch.

And for my emoticon-loving readers (I kid, I kid) who were kind enough to actually give a shit about the reviews, I am happy to report that we had 2 very favorable reviews. One was more on the mediocre side – mostly because it did not mention ME and I am a self-centered asshole – but Brad got mad props in both reviews, which he deserved ten times over, because – as one of our friends mentioned – he really held the whole show together. I will link here to the better review, a.k.a. the one in which I got a mention, because this is my blog, goddammit! (I played Gwendolen. And hey, there’s my real name. Hello, real name! Aren’t you looking mighty Polish today?)

So please accept my most humble of apologies, Internet, for being away for so long, but the shit, she was going down last week. I am hoping to regale you soon with Tales from the Motivational Seminar Front (and if you’ve ever had to attend anything of this ilk, you know precisely how awesome and terrifying they can be), and now I leave you with yet another event that came to pass last week: the birth of another baby elephant at the Pittsburgh Zoo. EEEE!

I WANT ONE.

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Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

STILL ALIVE! “You Are Withdrawn, Dull, Shy, and Sullen,” and Other Fun Things I Learned at a Motivational Seminar

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sara  |  July 28, 2008 at 10:41 am

    There’s nothing better than starting the day (even though it started hours ago, but who’s counting?) with a picture of Jerri Blank!

    Reply
  • 2. 4th reader of said turkey  |  July 28, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Just sitting here being a happy little geek because Jive Turkey mentioned me (sort of) in her blog.

    I was gonna put a smiley face at the end of that last sentence – you know, for irony – but couldn’t bring myself to do it.

    And, let me get this straight – people are OFFERING you roles in shows? Like, without having to AUDITION? Am I JEALOUS? Yes, I am.

    Reply
  • 3. The Constant C  |  July 28, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    Oh, it’s good to have you back. And it might be better to just take a week off that to write elaborate posts about diapers. Cause, you know, that’s what I did with MY week. Woot.

    And congrats on the job/review/new roles/surviving office training. Are your planets well aligned or what?

    Reply
  • 4. Husband of Said Turkey  |  July 29, 2008 at 10:10 am

    Wow. Old man winter looks like an angry f*cker.

    Reply
  • 5. kristin  |  July 30, 2008 at 11:47 am

    It’s a good thing I was gone while you took your little hiatus, otherwise you would have gotten some angry e-mails from me demanding my Jive Turkey fix. Glad the show went well, and there were no bad reviews.

    Reply
  • 6. Carrie  |  July 31, 2008 at 11:20 pm

    I went to a motivational seminar once and the only thing I remember is that this guy’s nametag said “Joe Shmoe, Pubic Relations.” I laughed about that way too much for a 25 year old woman.

    Reply

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