Internet, is CNN.com hurting for readers or page views or something? Because whoever’s in charge of writing the headlines over there is trying just a little bit too hard. Either that, or imbibing a little too much Cutty Sark with breakfast. I mean, I get that a headline should be short, concise, and attention-grabbing, but I think they’re going a little far here. To wit:
So…at first I genuinely thought this had something to do with religion and the charming belief that unbaptized babies go to hell (which THANK GOD FOR THAT, because those newborns are such awful, terrible human beings), but it was really about babies in a third world country (I didn’t read the article because, well, there was no article to read – this was one of those annoying “video-only” headlines that force you to sit through commercials before getting to the story. HATE). But, you know, isn’t calling some earthly location “hell” kind of, I don’t know, SUBJECTIVE? Way to uphold that journalistic integrity, CNN! Who do you think you are? Fox News?
But this headline (also from yesterday) has to be my favorite:
This article was about broaching the subject of faith with your healthcare providers in order for them to understand that religion is an important part of your personal healing, but all I could think about was:
DOCTOR: You have cancer.
PATIENT: I hear what you’re sayin’, Doc, but let me tell you a little somethin’ about a man called Jesus… (pulls out acoustic guitar)
Hm…what rhymes with Galilee?
Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.