Banner Day!

October 13, 2008 at 10:19 am 9 comments

So far today, I’ve:

  • Woken up at 2:30am, struck with some kind of uncharacteristic insomnia that kept me up until 4am. Is this a pregnancy thing? What up, fetus? You’re not supposed to keep me up until after you are born. I thought we had a deal.
  • Had a horrific nightmare that I was having a miscarriage; woke up in a complete and total panic.
  • Sent Brad a happy birthday TEXT MESSAGE because he is currently in Eugene, Oregon because WORK SUCKS.
  • Arrived late to work, even though the roads were traffic-free because everyone else is fucking OFF for Columbus Day.
  • Received 3 irate emails from my boss because a call that was supposed to happen at 9:15am ET was actually scheduled for 9:15am PT; a mistake that was not mine but that the boss has made clear I will be receiving the blame for anyway.
  • Contemplated becoming a street juggler for a living.
  • Already eaten 75% of the food I brought to work today.

Internet, it is only 10am. I am afraid of the rest of the day.

Will probably take the blame for this, too.


Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

Grody to the Maxx And You Can Quote Me

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sara  |  October 13, 2008 at 10:50 am

    Will you also be receiving the blame for Columbus taking over America? Just seems right. (By the way, I’m stuck at work, too; why? Oh the humanity! And that has nothing to do with the so-called holiday. I feel this way daily.)

  • 2. Carrie  |  October 13, 2008 at 11:39 am

    Dude. I’m right there at work with you. Well, not really with you, but you get my drift. Wouldn’t that be awesome, though, if you turned around and I really was there? Well, not so much “awesome” as “creepy,” but it would give you something to talk about.

  • 3. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  October 13, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    Honestly, who (other than government employees) gets Columbus Day off anymore? No-one I know does, and I even work in the financial services industry; we’re supposed to get *all* those non-holidays off.

  • 4. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  October 13, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    Also, I made cinnamon rolls this morning and left a note next to them saying, “Happy Columbus Day!” My daughter called me just as I was getting to work and said, “Thanks for the cinnamon rolls! Uh, but you know that Columbus was kind of an asshole, right?”

  • 5. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  October 13, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    One more thing… Jesus. Is there a limit to the number of times I can comment?

    Happy Birthday, HoST!!

  • 6. jiveturkey  |  October 13, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Carrie: I keep expecting you to be there when I turn around. Or when I close the mirrored door to my medicine cabinet, like in the movies.

    4th reader: Your daughter is awesome. But what better way to atone for his assholish-ness than to eat cinnamon rolls?!

  • 7. The Constant C  |  October 13, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I am also at work today. Contemplating becoming Jewish for the sake of taking off the high holy days at least. Also the food. Also the inherent parenting affiliation (You want you should starve?! Eat the cinnamon roll!) This is something I learned about myself while living in Brooklyn, where I also did not have Columbus Day off.

    Aaaand mini-essay is now complete.

  • 8. kristin  |  October 13, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    Oh RIGHT–Columbus Day. THAT’S why there were so many goddamn cars on the freeway today. And here I was driving slooowly along in the left lane and yelling in my car, “Why aren’t you people at work!” Never mind that I’M not at work.

    I hope your day got better. Would you like me to recite the entire text to “Alexander’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”? Because I could. That’s kind of sad, I think.

  • 9. MLE  |  October 13, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    In Berkeley, instead of Columbus Day they celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day because they are pretentious hippies.

    I hope your day got better. I’m a guvmint employee who didn’t get today off because I get the day after Thanksgiving instead.


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