Breaking News! Nothing Has Changed.

February 18, 2009 at 12:39 pm 13 comments

I hope you didn’t come over here looking for an exciting read, Internet, because I’m afraid that’s not what you’re going to find. Actually, if you’re in the market for something stimulating, I suggest you click on over to Looks like they’ve got some crazy shit going down over there.


And my silly Grandma thought sending me 20 bucks on my birthday was enough.

I was desperately trying to think of something to write about this morning at 3am when I was awoken by the baby’s Mexican Hat Dance on my ribs (accompanied by some exciting reflux), but the only things I could think to write about were:

  1. I’m tired.
  2. My Tums are all the way downstairs.
  3. Brad is asleep.
  4. So is the cat.
  5. Let me shift around in bed a bit to see if that wakes Brad up, and then he’ll ask me what’s wrong and I can look pathetic and see if he’ll go get my Tums.
  6. Damn heavy sleeper.
  7. Damn cat.

So, none of those ideas were exactly ripe for the picking – although I’ve had a significant amount of “Damn cat” moments over the past few days. She’s been acting really weird around me lately: sidling up to me for attention, and then attacking me when I try to pet her. I submit that SHE KNOWS (about me, the baby, the subsequent rocking of her furry little world); Brad submits that she is just the same cranky old lady she’s always been.

abbys-party-012He may be on to something there.

I guess I shouldn’t get so hung up on needing to have some grand idea or theme to write about on here – it’s a damn BLOG, for Chrissakes, and some of my favorite blogs are the ones where the authors post just about every day about whatever happens to be going on in their lives, exciting or not.  And I also don’t want to rattle on and on about being pregnant (which is SO very tempting to do, seeing as how I’m really fucking pregnant), because, believe it or not, I am really tired of talking about pregnancy, babies, diapers, daycare, epidurals, vaginas, and the fucking miracle of life in general.


However, I WILL take this time to give you an abbreviated update on the status of my massive pregnant self:

  • I’m tired and feeling heavy and awkward, but doing fine (can someone help me down from this cross?).
  • The baby is very active and provides endless opportunities for belly-watching.
  • Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry & Banana frozen yogurt is being discontinued at my grocery store, and I do not know how to pick up the pieces and move on.

In other non-pregnant news, Brad & I had a really nice Valentine’s Day weekend, during which we also got to see my niece…


…and we also took a trip to the Aviary, which we’ve been meaning to do for years, because I’m a crazy lady who loves her some birds.

valentines-weekend-014Could probably write a better post than this.

Hm. Let’s see…what else.  Well, actually, there IS something exciting to report: Chicago Friend of Said Turkey is coming to visit this weekend! Unfortunately, the weather forecast for the weekend is something like GRAY GRAYNESS WITH A 60% CHANCE OF SAD, but no matter – I have not seen CFoST in waaaay too long, and all we really want to do is stay cozy and catch up. And perhaps watch some terrible movies.

house-bunny-posterI actually already saw this one a few weeks ago, but OH MY DAMN it’s bad.

CFoST’s visit is one of the two big weekends we have planned before the baby comes – the other weekend being my 2nd baby shower on March 14. And then? No plans. It’s all up to Spats what happens next. And as done as I feel with pregnancy, I hope she decides to cook up until her due date so she’s nice & strong & fat when she enters the world to the soundtrack of her mama shouting some choice words…

SHIT! You see? I’m back to talking about pregnancy again! SEE HOW THAT HAPPENS?!

You know what? Fuck it. It seems Spats has just come down with an adorable case of the hiccups, and in 6 weeks, these hiccups will be happening on the outside.  If pregnancy is dominating my every thought and conversation right now, then so be it. It is pretty fucking cool, after all, and before I know it, this little hiccuping bump in my stomach will be doing things out in the real world like getting her driver’s license and applying to college and…*SOB*

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go watch my belly jump for the next 10 minutes.

plannerLinda, cancel my calls and clear my afternoon.


Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

Grace in the Fucking Annoying Soft Nougat Center

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. HoST  |  February 18, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    I totally would have gotten you those TUMS.

  • 2. jiveturkey  |  February 18, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Ha! I know, man. But you already go up and down the stairs about 10 times a night for my pregnant ass.

  • 3. The Constant C  |  February 18, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    I say that was a most excellent post. Also, I’ve been meaning to tell you, lest you ever be lucky enough to get consistent feedback on anything parenthood-related: I made it through labor with no epidural and no drugs. It wasn’t fun (No really. It wasn’t). But it’s totally doable if you’re the kind of person who’d rather be in pain than at increased risk for other things (like c-sections). Which my paranoid ass is. And now I’m ALL DONE with that kind of talk. (Slapping my own wrist).

    In other news, your package arrived (why does that sound weird?!). Thank you!!

  • 4. jiveturkey  |  February 18, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    WOW. I did not know you went entirely natural. DAMN! I’m not really planning one way or another – kind of waiting to see how it all unfolds, but I do want drugs at the ready in case I am close to losing my mind. I am pretty good w. pain, but I’m not sure if I’m THAT good…

    And girl, you KNOW my package arrived! (Yes, it sounds completely dirty, and it made me laugh. You are very welcome for my, uh, small package.)

  • 5. MLE  |  February 18, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    I am all about reading anything you might wish to write about being pregnant, because I am insansely curious.

    Also, I can’t wait to see Spats on the outside. Project Blanket is about 2/3 finished; my aim is to get it sent off for your baby shower on the 14th.

  • 6. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  February 18, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    MLE: I am also curious to see Spats on the outside – she’s gonna be so damn cute.

    JT and Constant C: I had my first with no epidural, only… I can’t even remember what the drug was. I remember they described it as “just a little something to take the edge off” and that’s just what it did. I still felt the contractions, but it just made me feel like I was strong enough to deal with them. I had neither epidural nor drugs for #2. Not that I would pass judgement either way – I don’t like people who look down on others for making a different choice – as if the only “right” choice is the choice that was right for them… I’m just sayin’ that I never thought I could do it, and I did.

    I did sign the paperwork for the epidural (both times), but I never ended up asking for it.

  • 7. jiveturkey  |  February 18, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    DAMN! It seems a race of superwomen with extremely high pain tolerances read my blog. Kudos to both of you, and thanks for the encouragement. I do have a friend who kind of went into it like I am (she was going to do whatever worked in the moment), and she was able to get by just on the Nubain.

    Also, MLE: I AM SO EXCITED for the blanket! I am also in amazement of the energy that enables you to complete such a project. My new hobbies are napping and talking about napping.

  • 8. kristin  |  February 18, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    I really hope a blog isn’t supposed to have a theme or a point or something, because if it IS, I’ve been going about this all wrong . . .

  • 9. Sara  |  February 18, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    Wow, this was like reading my own blog: “I’m tired and feeling heavy and awkward.” Yeah, me too. Except I’m not pregnant. Ruh-roh.

  • 10. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  February 18, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Now of course it is driving me slightly crazy that I can’t remember the name of the drug that was administered to me one time 15 years ago when I was in the middle of childbirth…

  • 11. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  February 18, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Um…forget the cross. Jesus was never almost 8 months pregnant.

    Thanks for the shout out!!! Can’t wait to see you.

  • 12. Leah  |  February 19, 2009 at 3:49 am

    I was pretty loosey-goosey about the role drugs would play in my labor, but after six hours of contractions only getting me to a 3-4, I was ALL ABOUT THE EPIDURAL and lo, it was good. I still think I could have gone natural if the whole labor had only lasted five or six hours, but I can’t imagine having gone natural for twenty-six-plus hours.

    p.s. Whatever it was they gave me to “take the edge off” was either (a) completely ineffective or (b) imaginary. Be ye warned.

  • 13. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  February 19, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    Very good point, Leah – I was induced because I was starting to develop warning signs of pre-eclampsia, so they were giving me pitocin to make sure the contractions were “going somewhere.” So my whole labor with the first was only 12 hours, and with the second it was only 6 hours.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed

Pittsburgh Bloggers


Whatchu Twitterin’, Jive Turkey?



I'm Gonna Git You, Flicka!

%d bloggers like this: