Breaking News! Nothing Has Changed.

I hope you didn’t come over here looking for an exciting read, Internet, because I’m afraid that’s not what you’re going to find. Actually, if you’re in the market for something stimulating, I suggest you click on over to CNN.com. Looks like they’ve got some crazy shit going down over there.

And my silly Grandma thought sending me 20 bucks on my birthday was enough.

I was desperately trying to think of something to write about this morning at 3am when I was awoken by the baby’s Mexican Hat Dance on my ribs (accompanied by some exciting reflux), but the only things I could think to write about were:

1. I’m tired.
2. My Tums are all the way downstairs.
3. Brad is asleep.
4. So is the cat.
5. Let me shift around in bed a bit to see if that wakes Brad up, and then he’ll ask me what’s wrong and I can look pathetic and see if he’ll go get my Tums.
6. Damn heavy sleeper.
7. Damn cat.

So, none of those ideas were exactly ripe for the picking – although I’ve had a significant amount of “Damn cat” moments over the past few days. She’s been acting really weird around me lately: sidling up to me for attention, and then attacking me when I try to pet her. I submit that SHE KNOWS (about me, the baby, the subsequent rocking of her furry little world); Brad submits that she is just the same cranky old lady she’s always been.

He may be on to something there.

I guess I shouldn’t get so hung up on needing to have some grand idea or theme to write about on here – it’s a damn BLOG, for Chrissakes, and some of my favorite blogs are the ones where the authors post just about every day about whatever happens to be going on in their lives, exciting or not.  And I also don’t want to rattle on and on about being pregnant (which is SO very tempting to do, seeing as how I’m really fucking pregnant), because, believe it or not, I am really tired of talking about pregnancy, babies, diapers, daycare, epidurals, vaginas, and the fucking miracle of life in general.

“Um…RUDE.”

However, I WILL take this time to give you an abbreviated update on the status of my massive pregnant self:

• I’m tired and feeling heavy and awkward, but doing fine (can someone help me down from this cross?).
• The baby is very active and provides endless opportunities for belly-watching.
• Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry & Banana frozen yogurt is being discontinued at my grocery store, and I do not know how to pick up the pieces and move on.

In other non-pregnant news, Brad & I had a really nice Valentine’s Day weekend, during which we also got to see my niece…

EEEE!

…and we also took a trip to the Aviary, which we’ve been meaning to do for years, because I’m a crazy lady who loves her some birds.

Could probably write a better post than this.

Hm. Let’s see…what else.  Well, actually, there IS something exciting to report: Chicago Friend of Said Turkey is coming to visit this weekend! Unfortunately, the weather forecast for the weekend is something like GRAY GRAYNESS WITH A 60% CHANCE OF SAD, but no matter – I have not seen CFoST in waaaay too long, and all we really want to do is stay cozy and catch up. And perhaps watch some terrible movies.

I actually already saw this one a few weeks ago, but OH MY DAMN it’s bad.

CFoST’s visit is one of the two big weekends we have planned before the baby comes – the other weekend being my 2nd baby shower on March 14. And then? No plans. It’s all up to Spats what happens next. And as done as I feel with pregnancy, I hope she decides to cook up until her due date so she’s nice & strong & fat when she enters the world to the soundtrack of her mama shouting some choice words…

SHIT! You see? I’m back to talking about pregnancy again! SEE HOW THAT HAPPENS?!

You know what? Fuck it. It seems Spats has just come down with an adorable case of the hiccups, and in 6 weeks, these hiccups will be happening on the outside.  If pregnancy is dominating my every thought and conversation right now, then so be it. It is pretty fucking cool, after all, and before I know it, this little hiccuping bump in my stomach will be doing things out in the real world like getting her driver’s license and applying to college and…*SOB*

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go watch my belly jump for the next 10 minutes.

Linda, cancel my calls and clear my afternoon.