Googlemania! Instant Classics Edition
Internet! It’s Friday! And I am:
- Still pregnant;
- Sporting a low belly that insists on peeking out of every damn maternity shirt I own;
- Trying not to eat the sugar cookies I brought for the office bake sale this afternoon.
And let’s not even talk about how hard it was not to shove RAW DOUGH into my mouth when I made the cookies last night, even when the likely consequence would be salmonella for me and my unborn child. MOMMY LOVES YOU, SWEETHEART!
So, because I know how much some of you love it (4th READER), and because I really don’t have much else to say, I give you GOOGLEMANIA! And it WILL NOT DISAPPOINT, my friends, because there are some GEMS that the good citizens of the world having been a’Googlin’ lately:
- “raw fucking vegetables” This one came across just this morning! And is pretty much verbatim of what you will hear me say as I reach for the Tums after eating a huge damn salad. I especially appreciate the quotes that the Googler used, because DAMMIT, I don’t want any results on raw vegetables – only raw FUCKING vegetables will do! And now I’m wondering – did I once type this phrase on my blog? Because I have no earthly idea why Google brought this person to my doorstep. At any rate, welcome, Raw Fucking Vegetables! It is good to have you around.
- do you remember phil collins I believe what you MEAN to say is, “Do you REMEMBAH!”
- pregnant in jeans Little known fact: this was the original iteration of “Forever in Blue Jeans.”
- pizza/donuts/eggs I really cannot imagine how many pages and pages of Google results you have to go through before you get MY site as a source of information on pizza, donuts, or eggs.
- donut pictures Now here’s something I can get behind. In other news: my stomach just growled.
- myrus cyrus I am only adding this one in here to prove that YES, I still get this random misspelling of her name, and also I read somewhere on some celebrity gossip site that Miley Cyrus has fake teeth and they fell out during a photo shoot, and I find that incredibly hilarious.
- marijuana türkey photo An umlaut? AN UMLAUT?!
- she will be coming around the mountain Oh yes, she WILL be, if she knows what’s good for her.
- rachael ray n*ked [Edited to prevent future Googlings] GAH! Really?! I know there’s a spectacularly filthy “30-Minute Meals” joke to be made in here, but I just don’t have the energy to do it.
- sex on a recumbent bike Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Have you guys ever seen a recumbent bike? Allow me to help you with this mental image:
Feel free to fantasize ripping the rad silk shirt off this recumbent hunk of man. And you’re welcome.
Also: Is that Peyton Manning?
Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.