April 7, 2009 at 10:53 am 10 comments

(And you have to pronounce it “PROH-gress,” so as to sound just slightly douche-baggy. It also helps to pronounce “schedule” as “SHED-ule.”)

Well, despite the fact that it is SNOWING on APRIL 7th, I think things are finally moving forward in Hoo-ha-ville.

Not to be confused with “Whoville,” although THAT would be an interesting animated Christmas special.

Last night after work, we made our usual Monday night trip to the grocery store where we were met with half of the population of Pittsburgh. You see, despite having snowy weather roughly 6 months out of the year, Pittsburghers feel it necessary to flock to the grocery store and stockpile food on the night before ANY forecasted snow, even though most of us live within reasonable walking distance to restaurants, supermarkets and convenience stores.


That, paired with the fact that we are famous for sandwiches like these, is what makes us such a charming people.

Anyway, I had some contractions at the store – some of them hovering around the downright uncomfortable/kind of painful border. But I’ve heard that they aren’t real contractions unless you can’t concentrate or speak through them, and since I was perfectly capable of spending 20 minutes in the ice cream aisle trying to decide between flavors during contractions, I guessed that they were not worthy of being timed.

After getting home, the contractions continued – some painful, some not. I was able to eat some dinner and fall asleep around 11, although I kept waking up because OW, tightness and crampy pain. Progress! But at around 4am it all stopped, and I was able to sleep straight through til 6:30.


At which point I woke up, saw it snowing outside, and realized that DAMMIT I was going to have to go to work today after all.

So here we are. I had a dream last week that Spats was going to show up on April 7th, and I guess she still has a substantial amount of time to do so, but…I have a feeling we’re faced with at least a few more days of waiting. I’ve had some semi-painful contractions throughout the morning, though! YAY, PAIN!


“YAY, PAIN!” may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever said, right after “I’d like to make an appointment for a perm, please.”

So that’s where we stand today, Internet. Brad spend a significant amount of time and nervous baby-waitin’-on energy yesterday trying to fix my Twitter feed, so hopefully it will remain up and running so that I may bring you more updates of The State of the Cervix.  (Although I see it is down right now, so…nevermind. But I will post to the blog before going to the hospital if at all possible, promise.) Have a good Tuesday, and if it’s snowing where you live, by all means use it as an excuse to have Easter candy for lunch.

cadbury_eggs_whiteI know! I know! Candy replicas of unfertilized bird eggs are GROSS, but DAMN if I don’t love these things.


Baking them into MUFFINS, however? Too far.


Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

There Once Was a Cute Little Fetus… Hello Again

10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sara  |  April 7, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Those muffins just look wrong. On a related note, I baked delicious banana chocolate chip muffins last night and brought some to work. If you’d like to stop by, I’d be glad to share them with you.

  • 2. MLE  |  April 7, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Those muffins are sick and wrong.

    Also, I would pay a dollar to see an animated special about Hoo-ha ville.

  • 3. The Constant C  |  April 7, 2009 at 11:48 am

    I, too, would pay a dollar for an animated visit to Hoo-ha ville.

  • 4. The Constant C  |  April 7, 2009 at 11:50 am

    I, too, would pay a dollar for an animated visit to Hoo-ha-ville.

  • 5. The Constant C  |  April 7, 2009 at 11:50 am

    But not twice. Goddamnit, interweb.

  • 6. hillary  |  April 7, 2009 at 11:58 am

    I’m not going to lie – when I saw your comment on my blog this morning I was a little touched that you took the time to comment on all my (stupid and insignificant) ANGST when you are currently, you know, in the early stages of labour.

    and those muffins made me throw up in my mouth a little

  • 7. kristin  |  April 7, 2009 at 11:59 am

    I would definitely eat one of those muffins. If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right, because I LOVE those sugary imitation embryos, and I bet they would be even more delicious all melty and paired with a sweetened bread.

    Wait, this was about the baby, right? Sorry.

    I suspect this child knows we’re all waiting on her anxiously and is timing her entrance for full dramatic effect. It’s like she has THESPIANS for parents or something.

  • 8. HoST  |  April 7, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    I just hope the baby comes out with a perm.

  • 9. Kay  |  April 7, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    okay, those muffins are the grossest thing i’ve seen all day – and I had to put my lunch in the communal fridge this morning, so that’s some serious gross…

  • 10. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  April 7, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Hey, where did you get a copy of my senior picture?


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