Let’s Try NOT Talking About It

April 9, 2009 at 10:53 am 8 comments

Can’t hurt, right? I mean, I’ve tried just about everything else to get things moving (and as of today, my most recent hope is that the full moon tonight will somehow have an effect), so let’s just IGNORE it, shall we? Maybe labor will get pissed off and start, just to get my attention. I did have some pretty painful contractions for a few hours early this morning, as well as a decent amount of pain and pressure last night during our very moody and sparkly viewing of “Twilight.”

twilightI’ve heard multiple rumors that Robert Pattinson has terrible B.O., and imagining this actually added a lot to my viewing experience.

I enjoyed the movie . It pretty much lived up to my expectations of what I thought it would be, and I can totally see why teenagers (especially teenage girls) go nuts over it. It kind of reminded me of a blend of “The Crow” (the whole other-worldly, eternal devotion thing) and “Romeo & Juliet” (the whole “I’d die for you!” thing), and if “Twilight” had been released 15 or 20 years ago, I’d be ALL UP in that shit. I mean, as a teenage girl, what’s not to love? Some mysterious, brooding (albeit smelly) dude desperately wants you and feels an overwhelming urge to rescue & protect you…nah, that wouldn’t be appealing AT ALL to a 15-year-old Jive Turkey.


That’s her delightful self in the middle, and MY, doesn’t she look happy!

[Kristin: This one’s for you.]

Anyhoo, I read a lot of negative reviews of “Twilight” back when it came out, but you know what? It’s a whole hell of a lot better than some movies marketed towards that particular demographic. And just like the Harry Potter series, any movies that get young people interested in reading are OK by me.

the_more_you_knowYes, I realize I sound like this. LAY OFF. I’M HUGE.

OK, I gotta end this post before I start talking about The Thing We Are Not Talking About. I will say, however, that the streets between my office and the hospital are being shut down temporarily today to make way for a procession & ceremony for the fallen officers, so it would be PARTICULARLY DRAMATIC if a certain person decided to show up. You know, a certain person who you might say HAS DRAMA IN HER DNA. DNA that was given to her in part by a woman who would really like a martini right now. Just sayin’.

Oh, and also: how much do I love all you awesome, foul-mouthed parents? Almost as much as I love the fact that your awesome, foul-mouthed selves read my blog.

sixteenFor your consideration: This sixteen-year-old was raised by a woman who TO THIS DAY has never uttered the F-word.


Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

Hello Again The Big 4-1

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. MLE  |  April 9, 2009 at 11:06 am

    In my house, fart was a bad word. I’m not much of a swear-er, but I swear to Og that our kids will be allowed to fart (and say fart) as much as they want.

  • 2. kristin  |  April 9, 2009 at 11:51 am

    Take a look, it’s in a book, reading rainboooow . . . oh, sorry. Ahem.

    So, did you ever see any actual animals at that museum? Because I never did. They always hid when I was there. Bastards.

  • 3. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  April 9, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    My first swear words, at age 5, were “god-dammit!” I just love that I went ahead and took the lord’s name in vain.

  • 4. Daughter of 4th Reader  |  April 9, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    I’m just waiting for my mother to post the “F*CKING HAIR!” story up in here.
    I looove the last picture. It totally reminded me of this girl in my GCS class – at the start of the year, we had to go around and tell something about ourselves, and hers was, “I’ve never said a curse word,” in this really high, nasally, annoying voice, which is how she ALWAYS TALKS (AAH). But she’s always making these sarcastic, “witty” comments under her breath, and one time she got caught muttering at the teacher, “Piss off.” But she’s never actually cussed. And this amuses me to no end.

  • 5. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  April 9, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Dammit, I hate it when my daughter reads my mind, because as I read the end of the post I was totally thinking, “I’m gonna tell the fuckin’ hair story.” Which is:

    Once when my delightful daughter was three years old, we were driving along in the car and the windows were rolled down, and her long hair was blowing all around her head, and she was trying (with no luck) to hold it down so she could see out the window, and suddenly it all became too much for her, and she exclaimed, “FUCKIN’ HAIR!” And her dad and I tried not to die laughing in the front seat while we explained to her why that was not a really okay thing for a three year old to say.

    The End.

  • 6. The Constant C  |  April 10, 2009 at 9:40 am


  • 7. Sara  |  April 10, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    I was raised by a foul-mouthed mother (my father probably also had a potty mouth, but I don’t remember), and people are still surprised by what I say to her. What they don’t know is that she taught me all of those horrible words.

  • 8. Sadie’s Birth Story: Part 1 « Jive Turkey  |  April 24, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    […] This was the day the roads were closed between my office and the hospital, making me pretty nervous since I was having some substantial and frequent contractions throughout the day. I took a short walk at lunchtime – both wanting and not wanting to kickstart labor – and recorded my contractions by writing down the start times on a post-it note at my desk. But alas, they petered out as they had every other day before, and soon the roads opened back up and we drove home from work, just the two of us, AGAIN. […]


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