Baby’s heartrate: Perfect (whew).
Me: Almost 2cm dilated, still 50% effaced, baby at pelvic station 0, weight stabilized, blood pressure up, had midwife strip my membranes (God, that sounds disgusting; please Google it so I don’t have to explain), scheduled a couple more membrane-strippings (EW) for early next week and an induction for next Friday just in case, trying to remember at what point I became totally comfortable talking about my brewster on the internet, WILL BE HAVING A BABY BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK OR EARLIER, SO HELP ME GOD, AMEN, PEACE BE WITH YOU, CLASS DISMISSED.
Also going to dinner with friends tonight, because I am determined to have a sitcom-worthy public water-breaking moment. Perhaps I can also give birth in a cab while stuck in a parade? Only time will tell.
Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.