April 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm 3 comments

Baby’s heartrate: Perfect (whew).

Me: Almost 2cm dilated, still 50% effaced, baby at pelvic station 0, weight stabilized, blood pressure up, had midwife strip my membranes (God, that sounds disgusting; please Google it so I don’t have to explain), scheduled a couple more membrane-strippings (EW) for early next week and an induction for next Friday just in case, trying to remember at what point I became totally comfortable talking about my brewster on the internet, WILL BE HAVING A BABY BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK OR EARLIER, SO HELP ME GOD, AMEN, PEACE BE WITH YOU, CLASS DISMISSED.

restaurantAlso going to dinner with friends tonight, because I am determined to have a sitcom-worthy public water-breaking moment. Perhaps I can also give birth in a cab while stuck in a parade? Only time will tell.


Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

The Big 4-1 You Serious, Clark?

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  April 10, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    I remember when I scheduled my induction and had that same moment of realization: OMG whatever happens I WILL HAVE A BABY BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK HOLY SHIT!

    Have a great weekend!

  • 2. Sara  |  April 10, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    Holy crap, Spats, would you come out already so your mother will stop posting her awkward teenage photos? Thanks.

    I mean, can’t wait to meet you!

  • 3. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  April 10, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    Hey progress! I’m happy to hear all that good news. I’m thinking of you and sending you vagina-opening thoughts.


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