Ignorance Is Bliss

August 11, 2009 at 3:22 pm 9 comments

Yes, Internet, we all survived our first day of daycare.

cerealAnd then we came home and had RICE CEREAL. BIG TIMES, y’all!

This morning was infinitely easier. There wasn’t so much crap to drag out to the car, I didn’t feel like I was figna’ vomick (or “fixin’ to vomit,” for all you readers who are not CFoST and therefore not familiar with this term), and I did not shed ONE SINGLE SOLITARY TEAR when we dropped her off and left her in the Center Director’s arms.

And then I felt like a terrible mother for NOT crying. Sigh.

I called the center exactly once to check up on her at 9:37am. I was told that she went down for a nap at 8:15 and had just woken up smiling. “MY DAUGHTER IS A FUCKING DAYCARE CHAMP!” I wanted to scream into the phone, but instead I just said thanks and hung up and felt SO INCREDIBLY RELIEVED that she was happy. The rest of the morning flew by, and I didn’t feel guilty at all.

Then we went to visit at lunchtime. The door to the infant room was closed, and when we quietly pushed it open we saw Sadie being rocked to sleep. When the caregiver saw us, she stopped rocking and Sadie opened her eyes and started wailing. Red face, crocodile tears, the whole bit.

wahWOE!

I took her in my arms and she stopped crying. Brad got a smile out of her. I nursed her and she kept going for comfort long after she got her fill.  Brad rocked her and sang his funny little songs. But pretty soon we had to leave, and we handed her back over to the caregiver, who was also tending to two other crabby little shorties.  Sadie didn’t immediately start to cry, but we ran out of there as fast as we could so that if she started wailing, we wouldn’t hear her.

This afternoon has been infinitely more difficult for Brad and I than the morning was – even though I’m SURE she was fussing in the morning, we just didn’t witness it or know about it, therefore we couldn’t worry about it.  So here’s my question: do you think these lunchtime visits are doing more harm than good? I love seeing her in the middle of the day and being able to feed and comfort her, but is it just making it harder for her to adjust? And harder for us to adjust? What do you think? ADVISE ME, O GREAT INTERNET!

In other news, Sadie fingerpainted in daycare this morning, and I had to resist the urge to snatch up that half-dried, paint-slathered piece of paper and put it in the fucking Smithsonian, THAT IS HOW PROUD I WAS.

funnyfaceClearly the face of an ARTISTIC GENIUS.

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Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

UPDATE! Growing and Being

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  August 11, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    If I were you, I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to go see her whenever I could, so I’m pretty sure this non-parent is also your non-helpful friend on this one.

    Thanks for the shout on Figna’ Vomick.

    Reply
  • 2. tempestpilot  |  August 11, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Babies are adaptable beasties, she’ll get used to your swooping in at lunch. I go home at lunch every day, and the squees and claps of delight at the beginning are well worth the nazgul shrieking at the end. Plus it keeps the boobage from exploding in front of the coworkers.

    btw, fingerpainting? My baby still eats everything. Sadie wins that throwdown.

    Reply
  • 3. MLE  |  August 11, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    Since I’m not a parent and clearly not a good person to give advice, I will give you the data point of Miss Zoot, who nursed her daughter at lunchtime at daycare pretty much every day while she was still BFing. I don’t know if she’s doing the same thing now with her son, but it was obviously a good experience for her with her daughter.

    If it were me, I’d play it by ear, and if it seems like she enjoys your visits, keep on keepin’ on. If she seems more upset afterward (maybe talk to your daycare provider about it), maybe cut out the lunchtime visits or cut them down to a few times a week? I dunno.

    Reply
  • 4. Marcy  |  August 11, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    I’ve got two little ones in daycare and my advice is to cut your lunch time visits to one or two a week. It will help Sadie adjust to her new surroundings, plus for her sake, outta sight, outta mind….

    You just gotta love those art projects. They’ll be plastering your fridge very soon!

    Reply
  • 5. Heather  |  August 12, 2009 at 10:42 am

    She’s a cutie. I’m sure the separation is difficult. I can only imagine. With time you both will get into a routine.

    Also, thanks for your support comment on my blog. I do appreciate it.

    Reply
  • 6. Constantina  |  August 12, 2009 at 10:58 am

    I have no idea. But I’m totally of the “parent from your gut” school. I’m too far away from home to get there and back during lunch hour, which saved me the dilemma. For me, that was probably a good thing. I’d be obsessive and clingy otherwise. But you gotta do what feels right…

    Reply
  • 7. FoST  |  August 12, 2009 at 11:08 am

    I obviously have no great insight either, but if you guys decide not to visit visit Sadie at lunch, can I? I kid…partly. : )

    Reply
  • 8. shelli  |  August 12, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    step away from the daycare until you pick her up at the end of the day.

    Everyone’s happier that way.

    Trust me. Malka was a clingy-mc-clingerson, and she’s the fast bandaid type – drop and dash. Noah Matan is all – Woman, LEAVE already, I gots a date with the ladies!

    Noah Matan is in LOVE with his daycare workers, and is totally FINE to be there. If, at pick up, however, he catches a glimpse of me, and if that glimpse does NOT involve my stepping towards him to pick him up? WAIL AND POUT….

    So you know, If YOU need the lunch time visits for now, go for it, but I say – DROP UM! And with a quickness. She’ll be FINE. She really will. Just use that lunch time to pump instead, if you can.

    Reply
  • 9. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  August 12, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    With my daughter, my brother (on summer break from college) took care of her for the first three months or so, and he brought her to my workplace at lunch so I could nurse her there, and then took her back home. And then about the time he went back to school, we moved to a house very close to my work, and my mom watched her in our house, so I could come home for lunch and nurse her. The circumstances are a little different but I really loved getting to see her at lunch every day.

    And I stayed home (and worked nights and weekends) for the first three years of my son’s life. Which all leads up to me saying I never had an infant in daycare, I guess is what it says. But that won’t stop me from weighing in, OH NO.

    And my vote is, keep going if you want to. She will adapt to whatever the schedule is that becomes your “normal” and if knowing that you can go there at lunch helps you and HoST feel better about leaving her there all day, then do it.

    Once she’s two or three and starts asking “Why can’t you just take the afternoon off and take me home?’ then it’ll be time to re-think it!

    Reply

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