August 31, 2009 at 11:34 am 19 comments

We went to Sadie’s 4-month check-up on Friday, and someone would like to take this opportunity to express her argument against immunizations:

red glasses*Sniff*

Sadie checked out just fine, and is chubbing up nicely at 14lbs and 8oz (one ounce less than I predicted!), placing her in the 75th percentile for weight. Her height, however?

50ftwoman90th percentile, motherscratchers.

Internet, Sadie is 25.5 inches long. That’s five inches longer than she was at birth, meaning she has GROWN FIVE INCHES IN FOUR MONTHS. I mean, WHAT? Can you even imagine growing five inches in four months? Has someone been slipping uranium in my coffee? Can I just confess here real quick that I’m somehow proud of this because apparently I’m going to be proud of every little involuntary thing her body does although I am determined not to let this include bowel movements but having said that I just remembered that I once boasted about the extreme loudness of her poops and that is pretty much the same thing, oh god help me amen?

candy shirt

She’s talking about my poops again, isn’t she.

Anyway, the pediatrician told us that we are cool to start introducing oatmeal and then barley cereal, and in a couple weeks when Sadie reaches the 5-month-mark, she’ll be ready to start trying some vegetables. As the rice (and now oatmeal) cereal has been a rousing success, I can’t wait to see how she takes to the palate-pleasing delight of pureed green beans. She has already begun getting impatient and reaching out whenever she sees us eating, and I have to admit that my boobs have been increasingly happy about the arrival of Other Food.


My boobs would like a vacation now, thanks.

I’ve been playing with the idea of making some of my own baby food, since I’ve heard that it’s easy, saves money, and allows me full quality control. Brad mentioned this to my mother all of once, and she has since brought it up EVERY TIME I SEE HER. And she’s bringing it up in a way that suggests I am a crazy hippie for even entertaining the thought of making my own baby food, and this DRIVES ME NUTS. I can’t really explain how I know her subtext except that she is my mother and I just know. I also get the feeling that she has shared this information with my sister – the mother of a 9-month-old who has been eating store-bought baby food for months now – and I can just FEEL my sister and mother having conversations to the tune of  “She’s crazy if she thinks she’ll have time to make her own baby food/that’s just stupid/what’s the point?” behind my back.  Keep in mind, Internet, that my mother and my sister are also the two people who convinced me not to join the drama club in 7th grade because “you wouldn’t like it.”


Ah, they know me well.

(Also, I love this picture because I was totally knocked up here and we had no idea. [And that’s Brad] [On the left])

My mom and my sister have been cool about the breastfeeding, though, but you know who isn’t? My Dad. And you know how I know? Two months ago, I overheard him asking Brad if I was “still doing that ‘Little House on the Prairie’ stuff.”

lithouseYes. My father called breastfeeding “that ‘Little House on the Prairie’ stuff.” He starts his new job as Marketing Director of La Leche League next week.

I was pretty sure he didn’t know I heard his comment, and I was more amused by it than anything else. Oh, Dad. But then, a couple weeks later? He said it to my face.


Half Pint is not amused.

I know he was joking. He does not know that his comments steeled my reserve to keep nursing as long as possible. Yes, Sadie has her grandfather to thank for all this glorious nursing. Because nothing says “selfless mother” like breastfeeding OUT OF SPITE.


In her memoirs, Sadie will reference this as the moment she turned to a life on the streets. Also, this is what happens when Brad and Sadie have way too much time to kill while I’m shopping.


Entry filed under: And you KNOW THIS!.

OK, I Lied. Some Of It Is Hard. Blurgh

19 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Alyce  |  August 31, 2009 at 11:53 am

    Making baby food isn’t really that time consuming. Take what you’re making for you, before you season it. Let cool. Put in blender. Feed to kiddo.

  • 2. kristin  |  August 31, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    Oh, you dirty hippies and your boob food.

    Now you really SHOULD make some laundry detergent. Imagine their reaction to that.

  • 3. MLE  |  August 31, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    I don’t even know how to respond to the idea that breastfeeding is “little house on the prairie” stuff. Is your dad a fiscal conservative? Does he understand the difference between buying food and having food come for free out of your boobs? What about buying jarred food and making your own at home for super cheap? Who wouldn’t, given the opportunity, take advantage of free bacon coming out of your elbow (or milk from your boobs, either way)? What the hell does he think boobs are for, anyway?

    • 4. jiveturkey  |  September 1, 2009 at 9:16 am

      He thinks boobs are for NOT TALKING ABOUT. Oh, Dad.

  • 5. Amy  |  August 31, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Haley was in the 5th (yes, FIFTH) percentile for the loooongest time. So, I had the opposite situation as you. Every time we’d go in for her well-checks, I would keep my fingers crossed that maybe, just maybe, she had reached the 6th percentile. Ha! At 3 1/2, she’s finally caught up. Her 16 month old brother, though? We don’t need to worry about him. He’s a tank.

    Good luck making your own baby food! SINCERELY. I had the best intentions of making my own, but my commitment turned into nothing more than a fantasy – I just couldn’t deal with one more task.

    p.s. their poop smells even worse once they start on real food. Look out!

  • 6. tempestpilot  |  August 31, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    Making baby food is easy. You just spit out a bit of whatever you’re chewing on. Ta daa!

    Or you can buy a $10 food mill if you’re fancy.

  • 7. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  August 31, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Look, the bottom line is this – the Ingall’s never lost a single one of those children. Sure, one went blind, but that’s b/c she was reading by candle light. That’s not a problem anymore, is it? So Little House on the Prairie it up, my friend. Shooz.

  • 8. hillary  |  August 31, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    the first picture? heartbreaking! those eyes!! oh those eyes.

    so, I kind of fucking love that you do things like breastfeed and make your own baby food to spite your family (because it’s pretty much how I relate to my mother and younger sister.)

    a friend of mine made her baby food in huge smackloads and then froze individual portions in ice cube trays. just a thought.

  • 9. Marcy  |  August 31, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    Maybe start out on store bought food till you have run through the gammet of fruits/veggies so you know Sadie isn’t allergic to anything. Then start making your own. They do make organic baby food if you are concerned about store bought quality.

  • 10. Marcy  |  August 31, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    …oh and yes – the poop gets worse…

  • 11. Dana  |  August 31, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    I’ve made Ethan’s baby food and its not hard at all. In fact, we have this little handmade mixer/blender thingy and I just put what we are eating in it, mash it up and wall-a! baby food. I sent the store bought stuff to daycare though, it was just easier that way.

    Geez my lil man is short, 10 months older than her and she is catching up to his 29 inches. my oh my!

    I feel you on the BF stuff, my mom and inlaws were like, why are you upset you can’t BF him anymore? And when I say, next time I am BF for as long as possible, they are like WHY?

  • 12. Dana  |  August 31, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    *handheld* mixer duh….

  • 13. Kay  |  August 31, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    My cousin spent a lot of time with us when she was a tiny little thing – and her parents never remembered to send her food. (They’re the parents that started feeding mcdonalds for meals as soon as she could gum a french fry down.) So we started making her baby food.

    1 bag frozen peas + 1 bag frozen carrots + a few pieces of left over frozen turkey + food processor/immersion blender = baby food that costs pennies instead of dollars. Not that there’s anything wrong with gerber (and certainly their little jars are handy to store the afor mentioned baby food in.)

    Course, I cook so there are always a half-dozen bags of cooked frozen ham or turkey in the freezer..i suspect that makes it easier 😛

  • 14. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  August 31, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    I know this makes me a horrible mom and is one of the top ten reasons why I am going to hell, but… I used to get a little chuckle ouf of the way my kids cried after getting their shots. It was just so funny! Their eyes would get all wide, like they couldn’t believe that someone just stuck a needle in them, and then there would be this big, long, gasping inhale that seemed to last for about 3 entire minutes, and then WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! With the trembling lip/chin and everything. Of course I would pick them up and soothe them right away, but I did it with a big grin on my face.

    • 15. jiveturkey  |  September 1, 2009 at 9:17 am

      HEE! I get it. I totally get a laugh whenever Sadie gets startled, decides she doesn’t like it, and slowly sticks her bottom lip out before winding up to a cry. It’s comedy gold.

  • 16. Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy  |  August 31, 2009 at 11:30 pm

    Sadie is straight thug. She def needs the tupac onesie. If she’d worn her thug life outfit to the pediatrician’s office, they probably would’ve not given the immunizations for fear that she would bust a cap. She could’ve been all, “Measles, Mumps & Rubella, my ASS motherfuckers!” or not–you know, because 4 month olds tend to avoid the f-word. But still.

    More on subject, when my daughter Allie was a baby, she ate the hell out of some homemade sweet potato baby food. It was her favorite.

  • 17. 4th Reader of Said Turkey  |  September 1, 2009 at 12:02 am

    But did your dad know it was National Breastfeeding Week when he made the smart-ass Little House on the Prairie comment? You could have brought this cake to show him:

  • 18. Fost  |  September 1, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    This kinda defeats the whole “making your own baby food is cheap thing”, but it doesn’t defeat “making your own baby food seems good for your kid AND it’s easy”…I want one.

  • 19. Amy  |  December 10, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    To totally freak out your family, skip the babyfood entirely by giving only breastmilk the first year, then go right to solid food (and more breastmilk, until they self-wean, around age 3 or so). I mean, you know, that’s what I did. Oh, and just for extra fun, skip the shots completely. Really get them going!

    Oh, and wait until your 11 year old grows 5 inches in 6 months. Yeah. I was buying new jeans for her every week and jean shopping is so much fun, as we all know.


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