Internet, I am sick. I have not been this sick in more than two years thanks to obsessive-compulsive handwashing, awesome prenatal vitamins and having no previous reason to see the inside of a daycare, and I am not handling it well.
Hey look! It’s me getting out of bed this morning.
I am well aware that I am being a whiny asshole about a cold that my infant daughter has weathered without missing a damn beat, but…WAH. Getting sick after coming off the World’s Most Un-Relaxing Weekend was really a kick in the nuts I did not need right now, especially because “right now” is also the time in which I need to do about 56,234 other things, NONE OF WHICH are actually getting accomplished because my head feels like a fucking medicine ball.
I am a firm believer in staying the fuck home from work whenever illness rears its phlegmy head, but it seems I have a whopping THREE HOURS of sick time left to take between now and the end of 2009, so…yeah. Off to work for me. Not like staying at home would have been that much better: the only food we have in the house is a frozen pie shell and some fucking barbecue sauce.
I have no choice but to go to the store tonight (to buy food I can’t taste! WEEE!) while Brad stays home and tries to make a dent in the housecleaning and laundry because O HAI, we are leaving in a couple days for our first weekend trip sans-baby, and did I mention that Brad is also sick? Because he is. Because apparently getting viral fucking meningitis won’t stop the universe from slapping a cold on top of that shit for good measure. I am just really hoping we all feel better by Friday and that we don’t spend our precious weekend away coating each other in Vick’s Vapo-Rub.
Um. So. I was going to make a joke about how coating each other in Vapo-Rub sounds kind of dirty, but then I found this. Is Vapo-Rub used for weird sex things? Because if so, I feel pretty old for being behind the curve on this, and also, that seems like a good way to get a particularly hellacious UTI.
We’re also concerned that something ELSE is wrong with Sadie today, as she was uncharacteristically crabby this morning and has been yanking on her ear, which can be an indication of teething or an ear infection or – my all-time vague favorite – NOTHING! We told the daycare ladies to let us know if she seems to get worse, and if so, Brad will have to take her to the doctor (sans me, because of my fuck-ass lack of sick time – most of which I had to blow through in order to get some semblance of a paycheck during my maternity leave because apparently having a baby means you are sick BUT DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED).
Wow. Sorry about all the complaining, Internet. I am working on a much more entertaining Pay It Forward for you, but I guess I just needed to get some things out of my system (in addition to the many things that are currently being expelled from my system via Kleenex and the occasional sleeve). I keep trying to remind myself that – as always – things could be much worse. I am just really looking forward to a week when Brad and I have more to talk about than the awful diseases the Internet has convinced us our daughter has contracted.
Oh, and thank you for all your awesome comments on my last post. The upside of being sick is that I am far too distracted by my leaky head to give a rat’s ass about who’s angry at who. Who is even paler than normal, has a chest full of congestion and has ceased to care?
Entry filed under: Taste my Backhand.