Houston, We Have a Baby

November 2, 2009 at 4:51 pm 13 comments

astronaut jonesOne giant leap for womankind.

Internet, can I please tell you how fucking adorable Sadie was in her outfit?

astronautThe correct answer to that question is “Yes.” All other responses will get you pushed out the airlock.

On Friday afternoon, Sadie’s daycare had its annual “Fall Festival,” during which all the little kids are pumped full of sugary treats and sent home with their parents. I’m thinking this is a not-so-veiled attempt at payback for all the various and sundry diseases the daycare workers contract from our little bundles of joy, but it was fun nonetheless. We had been warned on Thursday that Sadie would be participating in “pudding painting,” and WOW, DID SHE EVER. By the time we arrived, she was covered head to toe in partially dried pudding, the cuffs of her shirt stiff with hardened sugar. “She loved it,” her caregiver was happy to report, “although I think she ate more than she painted.” It was then I realized that OMG, that was my baby’s first taste of true sugary goodness (fruit, of course, DOES NOT COUNT), and I was all at once a little sad I missed out on witnessing her first sugar high, and a little peeved that they let her gorge on some disgusting processed crap that probably contained preservatives and additives and red dye #6 in my PRECIOUS ANGEL’S PURE LITTLE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM…

gwyneth_paltrow…and then I slapped myself across the face for sounding all food-purist-uppity, ESPECIALLY considering all the Laffy Taffy I had in my purse.

Anyhoo, despite a quick sugar crash power nap in the car on the way home, Sadie managed to stay awake and alert (and happy!) for the Halloween party, where there were two other astronauts in attendance.

astrosOne of whom generously donated his brother’s helmet for this photo op. This was also right before we left, at the scandalously late hour of 9:30. Please witness my daughter’s expression of OMG SO TIRED PUT ME TO BED KTHXBYE.

On Saturday night, Sadie donned her jumpsuit once more to help us hand out candy on the front porch. Highlights included:

  • A girl who could not have been a day over 14 looking at Sadie and saying, “I wish mine were still that little.” (I briefly considered handing out condoms after this.)
  • A little boy who asked me, “Did you have that baby?” and then, when I responded with yes, he raised his eyebrows and said in a tone I can only describe as bemused contempt, “Huh.”
  • A little girl who ate all the loose Smarties and Sweet Tarts right out of the bottom of my candy bowl.
  • The kids who didn’t even bother to say “Trick or Treat,” and just wordlessly held out their bags instead – I mean, THESE DARN KIDS TODAY with their entitlement and iPods and Jonas Brothers and such.

In other news: GET OFF MY LAWN!

Unfortunately, my stomach was kind of wonky all day Saturday and Sunday and it kind of put me off my feed, which led to the exciting random thought of “Hey! What if I’m pregnant?”

sorry ladyHands down the scariest moment of the entire holiday. But no, I am pretty confident there is no fruit in my roll-up.

On Sunday, though, we went to lunch with FoST and husband, where Sadie got her first taste of chicken and mashed potatoes, followed up later with some spoonfuls of my milkshake (hey, I said I was off my feed, not insane).  Verdict on all new foods: NOM NOM NOM, and also: WHY HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING THESE GLORIOUS FOODSTUFFS FROM ME, WOMAN?!

PLZYou expect me to go back to pureed carrots after that? Bish plz.

We also took a quick trip to the mall to score Sadie some fall & winter clothes, and someone I know had an insane amount of fun…

robesThat someone was me. But I think Sadie had a good time too.


Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.

Boo! No, Really: BOO Positivity

13 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Amy  |  November 2, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    I was disappointed at the youngsters that didn’t say trick or treat…until I read ECMs lasted post about running out of candy and someone actually saying, “bitch, you better go back to walmart and buy some more candy!” Um, hello. We can only hope that these type of people end up over-dosing on Snickers and have severe stomach pains for a week.

  • 2. shelli  |  November 2, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    JUST today I had one of those “these kids today” moments. And I slapped myself. Can I really forget that I was a snarky teen, just a few, short years ago? (koff, about 20, koff, koff)


    Getting old SUCKS ASS. Just ask my plantar fasciitis!

  • 3. kristin @ going country  |  November 3, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Mmm, pudding . . .

  • 4. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  November 3, 2009 at 2:45 pm


  • 5. littleelle  |  November 3, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    yeah, what Chicago Friend of Said Turkey said!

  • 6. hillary  |  November 3, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    wait, wait
    a trick-or-treater referenced her baby? !
    did you give her any candy?

    • 7. jiveturkey  |  November 4, 2009 at 11:07 am

      Her baby (one of them) was actually down the sidewalk a bit, holding her friend’s hand. So I guess (?) she was getting the candy on his behalf. I don’t know, but girlfriend was seriously Hannah Montana age. I give them all candy. I fear conflict.

  • 8. Nev (Balkan Girl, now Down Under)  |  November 3, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    Beam her up, Scotty!

    Oh wait…
    Hey, at least it has to do with SPACE. 😉

    Aw, Sadie is the cutest cute that ever cuted, hands down.

    I also had a ‘kids these days’ Halloween moment (and I’m 24, WTF?!); thing is, Halloween didn’t really proliferate in Oz until a few years back, so it’s not a huge thing like in the States but there’s definitely been more of a presence (especially in stores like Kmart, Target, et al).

    So, I had some trick-or-treaters come by Sat night and the exchange was as follows:

    Me: “Sorry, kids, doesn’t look like we have any candy…how about a big bag of chips?”
    Kids: [pause, blank stare] “…Okay.”
    Me: [chuckle] “Gee, don’t sound TOO excited!”
    Kids: [blank stare]

    Clearly, I am not above using sarcasm on ungracious urchins. I’d hang my head in shame but…’okay’? No, it’s ‘thank you’, kiddos, THANK YOU.

    Ahem…I come from the Balkan Old School of Uber-Politeness and Impeccable Manners. That sort of shit wouldn’t have flown ‘back in my day’. 😛

  • 9. Mermanda  |  November 4, 2009 at 10:39 am

    What a darling little astronaut! And pudding painting? What the heck? What ever happened to finger paint?

  • 10. Stephanie  |  November 4, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Seriously the cutest astronaut ever! I did not pass out candy this year. I am tired of the 15 and 16 year olds coming to my house.

  • 11. MLE  |  November 4, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Sometime remind me to tell you the story of the crazy person who insisted that GROWN ADULTS not only participate in a carnival-themed birthday party (for another adult) but that we use pudding to hand-fingerpaint during a game of pictionary.

  • 12. Allyson  |  November 5, 2009 at 11:51 am

    We had just finished dinner when our first trick or treaters came by. One asked if we had dinner, and when I told him, “Yes,” he asked if we had any leftovers. Then he took two fistfulls of mini Kit-Kats.

  • 13. Kerry  |  November 6, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Madie has the same little purple outfit that Sadie wore on her shopping excursion. If you cared. No? Oh well, too bad 🙂


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