I have always believed that the reason pregnancy lasts nine months is so the mother has just enough time to be ecstatic, freak out, calm down, plan accordingly, freak out, buy some cute outfits, freak out, eat burritos, take naps, then realize she is so huge and miserable she’d rather just be done with it already instead of expending the energy required to freak out one more time.
I am actually freaking out NOW, because I do not remember EVER being this huge, and when this photo was taken, I STILL HAD 6 WEEKS TO GO, HOLY AMBER WAVES OF ASS.
Anyhoo, for all my prenatal freaking out, the one thing I DID NOT anticipate was the surprisingly stressful situation of giving holiday gifts to Sadie’s daycare providers. She has spent the last four months in two separate rooms, being cared for by no less than five different women, and HOLY SHIT, I have no idea what to get these women that will be 1) appropriate, 2) affordable, 3) a proper conveyance of my sentiments, which are “THANKS FOR KEEPING MY BABY ALIVE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8 AND 5.”
Hey, that rhymes! Perhaps a singing telegram…?
In my frenzy to get this daycare gifting thing right, I turned to my old pal Google, which led me to a site in which actual daycare providers posted their most and least favorite holiday gifts to receive.* I was heartened to read how many of them said they really just wanted to be appreciated and thanked year-round, and to maybe get a card acknowledging how hard they work and how much they do. I mean, I can do that! I DO do that! But there were other responses that were not quite so warm and fuzzy. Say, Daycare Provider! What small token of love and appreciation would you like to receive from your daycare families during this season of joy and togetherness?
Numerous other sources have told me “proper etiquette” dictates that one should give child care providers a bonus equivalent to one week’s pay.
Is this “Proper Etiquette” bitch also Oprah? Because DAMN.
I am pretty sure that “one week’s pay” thing is meant for in-home providers, not a situation like ours in which we have so many people to thank. So where is my rule? Where is my etiquette? Will someone just tell me what the fuck to get these people already so I know whether we’ll be eating ramen noodles for a week or a month?!
From the lovely site I referenced above, I gleaned that – if nothing else – daycare providers want thanks & acknowledgment. They don’t want piles of cookies and candies, they don’t want some cheap, junky reindeer votive holder that will get chucked in the bottom of a box for 11 months out of the year. Gift cards seem to be a hit, but for five people? Obviously, some of the ladies at Sadie’s daycare have been more involved with her than others (e.g. the woman who cared for her every afternoon of her first two months vs. the woman who only watches her for 20 minutes or so each morning before the rest of the staff shows up), but I can’t very well give them all something DIFFERENT, can I? So here’s what I’m thinking: a nice card with a personalized message, and a $10 Starbucks gift card. There’s one across the street, you can get multiple items for that amount, it’s something that won’t get thrown in a box, and it will help them stay awake for all those thrilling diaper changes. Done, done, and done. What do you think? Perfect? Cheap? Impersonal? I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND IDEAS AND MONEY, INTERNET.
I am this close to getting them all fucking Christmas Shoes and calling it a day.
I’m sure I am over-thinking this, as I tend to do in 99.999% of situations, and I need to remember that all I can really do is give something in a spirit of sincere thanks, because sometimes you just can’t please everyone (or anyone). Case in point, from the glorious aforementioned website:
Those stupid fucking parents and their stupid fucking beautiful jewelry!
But don’t you even think about shopping on a budget up in here:
*This website sparkles. Because OF COURSE IT DOES.
Entry filed under: Gobble-gobble.