Year in Review

December 30, 2009 at 1:36 pm 27 comments

Well, Internet, it’s that time again, believe it or not.

Uh, not THAT time. I don’t actually think it’s ever time to zazzle, unless you want a probation officer.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Brought forth a baby from the ol’ brewster. Bent to peer pressure and joined fucking Facebook, siiiiigh.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? According to last year’s post, I made some “private resolutions” to myself…aaand I have no fucking idea what these were, so I’m sure that means they were a rousing success. Jesus. Anyway, I get weirdly embarrassed sharing resolutions (PLEASE NOTE: sharing details about boobs = OK, sharing resolutions = embarrassing), so let’s just move on, shall we?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My vagina.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My soul, a little bit, each time I hear a Miley Cyrus song.

5. What places did you visit? Wow, I was seriously lame in this department. I didn’t see anywhere outside of West Virginia or Pennsylvania in 2009. I am somehow totally fine with this (note to self: 2009, the year I became a hermit).

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Some sort of fucking compromise in my work situation that will allow me to stay at home one day a week.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 11th, natch. Please see the bulk of this fucking blog for explanation.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I feel weird referring to Sadie’s birth as an achievement of mine, but I am really proud of the fact that, you know, I like this whole mother gig, and I feel pretty fucking good at it.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not being able to resolve stupid, annoying, ongoing family drama. And giving Sadie a piece of spaghetti last week that was too long and resulted in a gag and barf at the dinner table.

Like a bend and snap, but way less fun.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Daycare brought many a joyous virus into my world. And let us not forget the time that cream-colored ponies pranced from my warm woolen mittens.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Personally, I am loving these new boots I got thanks to my mother-in-law handing me her credit card and telling me to buy myself a little Christmas. The most awesome thing I bought for Brad, though, has to be Lego Fallingwater. And buying Sadie a stuffed Grover was a good move, because every day she will hug it and give it huge, open-mouthed baby kisses. LOVE. But the new camera we splurged on this fall is also at the top, because it indulges my need to document every damn second of this child’s life.

She blinked! Where’s my camera?!?!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Brad, always.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Certain family members, certain asshats in the workplace, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck.

14. Where did most of your money go? HOLY FUCK, right to the baby. Diapers, daycare, formula, food, and wine for her mother.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Guess what! The baby. Also: drinking wine again, our first baby-less weekend getaway (which involved drinking lots of wine), wearing non-maternity clothes (and drinking wine again), and watching Brad be the awesome daddy I always knew he’d be. (Also: wine.)

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? “White Winter Hymnal” by Fleet Foxes. I love this song, and it was actually running through my head while I was, uh, pushing the baby out. Sorry. I don’t really know how else to refer to that situation. Also, “Two Weeks” by Grizzly Bear. Didn’t push anyone out to this song, I just like it (and the link is to an awesome fan video that some insanely talented guy created). Oh, and pretty much anything by James Taylor and Nick Drake, as these are the guys we listen to when we’re rocking Sadie to sleep. I’m a little worried that grown-up Sadie will pass out cold whenever she hears “Sweet Baby James” on a drugstore muzak somewhere.

There is a young cowboy who lives on the ZZZZZZZZZ…

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner, as one would expect, now that I don’t have another human being swirling around in the ol’ uterus.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer, thanks to daycare, my favorite viral buffet.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? This is tricky, because I missed being able to read (without falling asleep), cook (before 9pm at night), and participate in theatre of some kind, but I don’t really wish I’d done more of those, because that means I’d be wishing away the reason I didn’t accomplish those things, a.k.a. the fruit of my loins. I will say that I wish I’d ventured out with Sadie more in the warm weather, because I was just too new and nervous at this whole mothering gig to really take her out as much as I would have liked. I also think I am forgetting how different it was to go out with her when she was smaller. Now, if she’s hungry or tired, she can pretty much maintain, but back then? SHE SCREAMED. Not really fun “lunch with friends” behavior, you know?

(Also, could my responses be a little longer? Christ.)

Leave me out of this.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying, as always.

20. How did you spend Christmas last year? Being large and in charge and gazing longingly at delicious cups of eggnog and bourbon.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? And then some. Holy shit.

22. What was your favorite TV program? 30 Rock is still a favorite, as well as Parks & Recreation. Although, if we’re being honest, 16 and Pregnant (and the subsequent Teen Mom series) kept me glued to the screen for a fair amount of the year.

23. What did you do for your birthday in 2009? I had Christmas cookies for breakfast (yay), went to work (boo), then came home & opened gifts in front of the tree with Brad, Sadie & Tootsie (yay). Pretty perfect day, as far as I’m concerned.

24. What was the best book you read? HA. As I confessed to FoST, I did not read a SINGLE FUCKING BOOK this year. I’m pretty embarrassed about this, but whatever. Coincidentally, FoST got me this book for Christmas, so I should AT LEAST be able to get through that.

25. What did you want and get? Healthy baby.

26. What did you want and not get? Approval to switch to part-time status at work. Still trying to make it happen, though.

27. What was your favorite film of this year? I haven’t been to a movie since April (by CHOICE, all you baby-horror-story-tellers out there), but fortunately all the movies that came out earlier this year are now on Netflix, so I’ve been catching up. Let’s see…some were downright awful (Paul Blart, Transformers, He’s Just Not That Into You [UGGGH]) some were perfectly fine (Sunshine Cleaning, Adventureland, Away We Go, Up), but I can’t think of anything that really knocked my socks off. I have high hopes for Moon and 500 Days of Summer, though. They’re on our queue.

28. Did you make some new friends this year? Thanks to the Internet, yes.

29.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Resolving family drama. Having a 4-day-work week. More burritos.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Before April: That One Maternity Sweater That Doesn’t Make Me Look Like the Side of a Barn. April-October: Things That Accommodate My Massive Rack. October-December: Hey, I Can Button These Shirts Again!

31. What kept you sane? Brad and Sadie. Coffee. The Internet. This blog. You guys.

Or “yinz,” in Pittsburgh speak. Also acceptable: “All y’all.”

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Shit, I don’t know. I kind of hate this question. But I have to say that I think Lady Gaga is pretty rad. It’s not like I adore her music or anything (although I do like it), but I think it’s pretty admirable that she (unapologetically) puts herself out there, comes up with all her own stuff, and rose up through the ranks on her own merit. I always appreciate a good “I got where I am because of me” story.

I also enjoy a good disco ball mask. You don’t become the subject of she-might-have-a-penis* rumors by being boring, my friends!

33. What political issue stirred you the most? Gay marriage, again.

34. Who did you miss? My friends and family, some of whom haven’t seen Sadie yet, and that makes me sad. Why don’t all you fuckers move to Pittsburgh?!?! Geez.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. God, I don’t want this to sound unbearably cheesy, but I don’t think I can avoid it: I learned how much one little person can change your heart forever. I totally underestimated (or maybe just couldn’t imagine) how I was going to feel about her.

Oh, man.

What a year.

See you in 2010, Internet.

*She totally doesn’t. Case in point.


Entry filed under: And you KNOW THIS!, Thanksgiving.

The Week That Time Forgot I Got Chills, They’re Multiplyin’

27 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Chicago Friend of Said Turkey  |  December 30, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    I like how prominently wine and burritos were featured in this post. That’s my girl.

    And of course, I love love love how in love you are w/ Sadie. Knowing how happy you are makes me happy.

    Here’s to a 2010 filled with all sorts of exciting stuff.

    PS – You’re gonna love 500 Days of Summer and you will also need the soundtrack.

    • 2. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:02 am

      Love you, CFoST. And miss you like crazy.

  • 3. Swistle  |  December 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    The picture of Christ with “Leave me out of it” is the best thing I’ve seen all day.

    • 4. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:03 am

      That’s what one finds when one Google Image searches “Angry Jesus.” Hee.

  • 5. Becky  |  December 30, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    I’m a little freaked out that our answers are, uh, kinda similar. Copy cat. (kidding) Here’s what I said in 2008:

    I like you.

  • 6. Di  |  December 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Not quite sure how I ended up reading your blog today – I have a baby sleeping on my lap, so anything is possible…I love it, and like Swistle, the “leave me out of it” is fantastic. You’ve got yerself a new fan, right here.

    • 7. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:03 am


  • 8. Meg  |  December 30, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Sadie has the best cheeks ever. EVER. They are so ample and pinchable!

    I hope 2010 brings you more wine and more adorable baby-ness!

    • 9. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:02 am

      Thanks! Right back atcha’.

  • 10. MLE  |  December 30, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    Hey I did mine today too! And I didn’t read yours first, and we have some of the same answers.

    Someday I hope we get to meet. And drink lots of wine.

    • 11. jiveturkey  |  December 30, 2009 at 5:48 pm


  • 12. TNG  |  December 30, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    I’m with Swistle about The Christ. L to the OL.

    Also, that picture of the SHOES! For some [awfully strange but most likely hormonal] reason, made me MISTY.

    • 13. Marcy  |  December 31, 2009 at 12:18 pm

      I know! Me too!

  • 14. Amy  |  December 30, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    I long for the day I can get through more than 5 pages of a book without falling asleep. Oh, and I long for the book to be about something other than child-rearing. I think I need to start drinking coffee – everyone swear by it.

    Lovin’ that last picture with the shoes. Awesome.

    Happy New Year, JT. Be good.

    • 15. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:03 am

      I would have sex with coffee if I could just figure out how.

  • 16. kristin @ going country  |  December 31, 2009 at 9:00 am

    I know it will happen, but I literally can’t imagine a day going by without reading.

    I suspect that’s just one of many, many new things that I’ll be experiencing for the first time in the coming year.

    • 17. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:01 am

      You’ll be able to read if you make it a priority. For me, watching taped episodes of “16 and Pregnant” was a priority. So, you know.

  • 18. Sara  |  December 31, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Happy new year to you and yours, JT! You sound so happy (except for the whole gay marriage thing), and that’s so wonderful.

    • 19. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:04 am

      Thanks, Sara! Happy new year to you, too!

  • 20. sweetbird  |  December 31, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    I like that you make me feel I won’t totally shit the bed when I decide to become a mom. I need that. A lot.

    Happy New Year JT, Brad, and Sadie!

    • 21. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 11:00 am

      Nah, you won’t shit the bed. Although you may shit during labor. Fair warning.

  • 22. JustLinda  |  January 1, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    Hi, new to your blog.

    Enjoying the place, thanks for having me. But did you really have to dog Miley? Sweet Miley? Doncha know – it’s THE CLIMB. She’s learning! She’ll pull through, I just know it. (Don’t you dare throw Brittney in my face… I’ll just cry if you do!)

    (Added you to my reader. My 2010 plan is to connect back with blogging. I hope you don’t come to regret that. Ahem.)

    • 23. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 10:58 am

      The TV in the triage room was playing Miley’s Tonight Show performance of “The Climb” while I was getting a vaginal exam to check for dilation. So “The Climb” will always mean uncomfortable vaginal sensations to me.

  • 24. Josh  |  January 4, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    That last picture of those shoes…. Good God. That made me all weepy. What are you, trying to make a grown man cry at his desk while eating a frozen dinner? Don’t you know frozen dinners are enough??

  • 25. Laura  |  January 4, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    I found your blog through The New Girl and I’m in love….LOOOOOVE…is that creepy? Anyway, you make me laugh out loud and I’m diving into the archives now!

    • 26. jiveturkey  |  January 6, 2010 at 10:59 am

      Hi Laura! Nothing creepy about love, man. Unless you send me a jar of your toenails or something.

      (Please don’t)

  • 27. Mermanda  |  January 6, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    Gah! The picture of your shoes kills me. Adorable.

    Also, Fallingwater Legos? Whaaaaaaat?! Crazy awesome.


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