I Hate These Things, and I Hate Their Ass Faces!
I have a feeling I’ve used a similar title for a post before (and am far too lazy to check), but at least this movie is not an Adam Sandler movie. And hey, know who doesn’t like Adam Sandler movies? This girl. Know how I knew that? This post. The idea for which I’m totally stealing today, because I am exhausted after a weekend participating in this event (and hosting the grandparents whose babysitting services were needed so that Brad and I could participate together).
And then when we were out for breakfast yesterday morning, a dude at the next table PEED HIS PANTS but did not let that stop him from continually visiting the breakfast buffet, thereby walking past our table roughly 53 times and effectively ruining our appetites, so I think you’ll understand when I say my brain needs a NAP, yo.
Things I Hate That Everyone Else Seems to Love:
- Diet Coke: I’ve tried. Oh, I’ve tried. Because if there’s one thing my life needs, it’s more chemical-laden foodstuffs on which to develop an unhealthy dependence.
- American Idol: This does not stop my mother from discussing the show with me each week as if I know what words like “Sanjaya ” or “Orianthi” mean. (And yes, I had to do a lot of Googling to find out what the fuck an “Orianthi” is.)
Not an exotic bird, as I first suspected, but rather what appears to be the love child of Bret Michaels and Taylor Dayne.
- Babies Dressed as Produce
- Raisins, shredded coconut, and caraway seeds: Caveat: the only acceptable medium for shredded coconut is the almighty Samoa.
- Running: This does not stop me from buying running shoes if I find some in a pretty color.
- Glee: I have a violent distaste for this show, to the point where I often find myself screaming “I hate fucking GLEE!!!” to my computer screen when I read articles/tweets/FB updates about Glee that express anything less than a burning hatred for Glee. FUCKING GLEE.
- Kristin Chenoweth
She is a robot sent here to destroy us all, I’m sure of it.
- Golden labs: I don’t really know why, but it probably has something to do with Air Bud.
- Milk as a beverage: I feel completely awful forcing Sadie to drink it when I wholeheartedly agree that “Milk [is] a bad choice.”
- Baseball: Zzzzzzzz. Although I enjoy going to baseball games, because spending a summer night outdoors drinking beer is never a waste of time.
- American Apparel: If their ugly-ass neon leggings aren’t enough to turn you off, go have a read about creepy CEO Dov Charney. I’ll be over here, waiting to vomit with you when you’re done. (p.s. – if you don’t want to click any of those links, just allow me to share with you that he finished third in a “Douche of the Decade” poll.)
- Toasted bagels: Do you guys have any idea how many times I communicate to the counter staff at bagel places that I ONLY want my bagel sliced, NOT TOASTED…only to watch them lay my poor, sliced bagel on that slow conveyor belt of toasting doom?! LOTS OF TIMES.
- Air conditioning: Brad and I are incompatible in exactly one area, and this is it.
- David Mamet: Ooo! Look at me with my fragmented, overlapping dialogue! Look at me cast Ricky Jay in movies! LOOK AT MEEEEEE!
Things I Hate That One Guy Seems to Love:
- Peeing one’s pants at breakfast
For fuck’s sake.
Entry filed under: And you KNOW THIS!.