The Old Folks At Home

As I’ve mentioned before, I went to college in Kentucky, and Internet, I love Kentucky. I love their horses and their bourbon and their people and their hot browns (if ever you find yourself in Lexington, proceed immediately to Ramsey’s).

GET IN MY ARTERIES, SIR.

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June 24, 2010 at 1:20 pm 12 comments

G’day

Hello, Internet. I hope you’re having a good week, and spent your Father’s Day doing something fatherly like checking the air in your tires or boning your mom.

OK, point taken, Ziggy, you pathetic little pantsless bastard.

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June 22, 2010 at 12:07 pm 17 comments

GUILT

I has it.

Um, God, I NEEDED THAT SLATE, THANKS.

Also: You best believe I just spent a very entertaining morning on PositiveButterflies.com.

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June 17, 2010 at 11:15 am 18 comments

Summer of My Compromised Immune System

(Post title inspired by Summer of My German Soldier, a book that 14-year-old Jive Turkey loved and re-re-re-re-read and stained with her overwrought teenage tears, because there is nothing in this world that a teenage girl loves more than a tale of star-crossed lovers, even though in this case the one lover is twelve years old and the other is a grown-ass man who is also a NAZI SOLDIER [but not really! He was forced! Feel free to fantasize about him guilt-free, teen readers!], and I might have scoped out  my bedroom closet a time or two to consider where I might stash a hot P.O.W. should one come moseying up the road to my house in 1990s suburban Charleston, WV.)

My opinion of the book is a bit different now (see: twelve-year-old girl, GROWN-ASS MAN, birth of my own daughter who will not be hiding any sexy men in her closet if I can help it).

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June 14, 2010 at 3:47 pm 20 comments

PAY IT FORWARD: A Litmus Test for Assholes

Internet! It has been far too long since we’ve paid it forward, has it not? And oh, I have SO many forwards ripe for the mocking, but unfortunately so little time in which to do so. So if you’ve sent me a forward, please know that it’s waiting patiently in the queue, being fed treats and receiving reassuring pats on the head while waiting its turn to be torn to shreds on this here website.

Aww. I went and anthropomorphized the forwards and now I feel guilty. I’m sorry, forwards! Circle of life and all that!

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June 9, 2010 at 1:37 pm 20 comments

The Further We Go, The Closer We Stay

Brad and I celebrated our 10th (TENTH!) wedding anniversary this weekend, a full month and a half early. Why? Because this was the weekend we could secure an overnight babysitter, that’s why.

Babies: Calling the shots around here since April 2009.

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June 7, 2010 at 4:25 pm 15 comments

Snozz

Internet, do you read (or have you ever read) the comic strip For Better or For Worse? Because I do (or did, before Lynn Johnston went into semi-retirement and started drawing old retro versions of her own shit). Why did I read it? Well, Sarah Brown says it better than me:

“I will freely admit to you that every morning, I check my email, Flickr, and then I read For Better or For Worse, Mary Worth, and Apartment 3G online…. It’s the non-toxic version of reading blogs of people you secretly hate. Mary Worth is a meddling bitch. Come, loathe her with me.”

Sarah Brown’s caption for this made me laugh so hard I nearly Worthed in my pants.

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June 3, 2010 at 12:05 pm 14 comments

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